How many times have you entered into a relationship wondering how to handle certain problems or needing to know what the answer is to questions running around your head? Some things may be a given in a relationship. But we still have questions, don't we? Here are a few questions, witht he answers, you may have been considering for a while.
In a word - very. Having open communication with someone with whom you're planning on spending the rest of your life with is vital to the life of the marriage. A lack of communication over time will create a wall between two people that cannot be broken down, therefore resulting in a deadly separation.
Though I have never been in the shoes of one who was cheated on, I do believe that infidelity is forgivable, but I know that it would take a lot of grace to be able to. The act of cheating on a spouse is one of the most detrimental acts a marriage can face. Those that stand through the trial will emerge stronger together, knowing that their love for each other is willing to forgive and look past mistakes. Forgiveness in a relationship is a hard lesson that takes much work to learn.
Though my opinion is worth no more than the pennies in your pocket, I say no, it's not good to know the entirety of each other's past. Sure, "big" things like whether or not they were married before, or if they have contracted an STD in their past, things like that need to be discussed. However, the nitty-gritty details, and names of past flames - things like that, are better left unsaid. I know enough that it makes me really dislike some people that I have never even met, and I wish I knew a lot less than I do. The less you know, the better. Just remember, don't ask and press for details and then get mad when you hear them! :-)
In my humble opinion, a healthy relationship is one in which both partners are open and honest with each other in their communication. They trust each other completely. They put the others interests ahead of their own and are considerate of each other's feelings. They know how to disagree without full-blown fighting, and quickly dissolve conflicts with the art of compromise or meeting in the middle. They have similar interests and work together to create a fun time for both of them. And they always have plenty of hugs and kisses to share!
There are such a vast number of definitions for the word "love"! In a relationship, however, I believe that the true definition would be the willingness to stand by that person no matter what happens to them. It's being willing to lay down your life for them - not only in the physical death sense, but also in giving up your life for them in other ways like giving up some "me time" to do something with or for them. In short, true love is putting your lover ahead of you in every part of your life.
Past circumstances like childhood molestation, or previous bad relationships do affect people in a negative way. If you have a spouse or significant other with things like this in their past, you must be patient and understanding with them. Things like molestation and rape are not easily overcome, and must be dealt with over a period of many years. If things like this have happened to you in your past, it is a good idea to tell the person you are dating early in the relationship to prevent problems down the road. If they can't understand and aren't willing to be patient with you, you haven't found that special someone yet!
Trust is something that takes many years to build up, but can be crushed in a second. It is very important to have the ability to tryst someone to be faithful to you in a marriage. Not only faithful with their body, but faithful with their heart. Trust (along with love) is the foundation for a healthy marriage. Begin a relationship by showing that you can be trusted in every way, and work day after day to keep it. Lack of trust is one of the leading causes for divorces and is therefore vital in a marriage.
Relationships are a lot of work - a never-ending job. But if we die, having succeeded in a relationship, we have conquered on of the hardest thing life has to throw at us! May your relationship be full of love and trust, and last till death! Were any of the answers what you were looking for?
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