10 Things to do before You Get Married ...

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I’ll be the first to admit that going somewhere on my own isn’t my kind of thing, especially somewhere far away, but going on a break somewhere on your own is a fantastic idea. It doesn’t have to be too far, just somewhere close by but different...or somewhere amazing and far away, the choice is yours. Choose where to go, where to stay and what to do there. Experience the complete freedom it gives, and how amazing it feels to be completely in control of your own destiny.

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Remember all those songs and books about holiday romances? Well, they are there for a reason...holiday love is intensive, passionate and spontaneous, and very confidence boosting. Whether you woo the bar man or get steamy with another tourist, if you are free and single, don’t close yourself off to the idea. I have friends who’ve been transformed by holiday flings!

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Spend a few nights by yourself, just living. Make fresh bread, wear all of your favourite clothes, take showers and sing loudly, sleep sprawled all over the bed. Do all of the things that you dreamt you’d do in your house when you were a child, and enjoy being there. Learn to love your own company, and make the most of your time. When there is a man and child on the scene, you’ll wish you had more!

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Make some time for something you’ve always wanted to do. From collecting stamps to making clothes or painting, invest in yourself and your hobby and see where it takes you. I have a monthly book club I started attending before I met my boyfriend, but I still go every month. It’s my me-time, and it keeps me in touch with who I am and what I like. Remember that there has to be a me for there to be an us.

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Find a great photo of yourself, join a dating site and write out your profile. See who comes forward. Obviously if you are with someone then this isn’t fair, but it’s a great way for single people to meet new people and see who is out there. Don’t do it as a joke, be honest, but don’t put your heart into it either. Just see what happens...

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Go and help out in a soup kitchen, volunteer at a local school or raise money by doing a run. The race for life is always hugely popular, and a great way to get fit and meet new people! Find out what causes you truly believe in, and make a difference. It’ll help you put your own problems, like relationship troubles, into perspective.

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Do something that is completely outrageous, and out of character, but remember to stay safe. Jump on a train somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit, or go to a rock concert...anything! I visited a casino...it was an amazing experience, and I had the time of my life. Let ‘yourself’ go for a while and have fun, just make sure you are safe and in control. The night might be amazing, but waking up broke and lost won’t be!

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Remember that extravagancy is relative, and do something extravagant. Have an expensive hair cut, or buy some shoes more expensive then you would usually allow yourself. Do some saving, or some extra work, and do something that really makes you feel pampered. You get a lot less time and money for this when you have a husband and children, so make the most of it now!

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Feel pain. Cry yourself to sleep, and wallow in the pain. Learn how to deal with pain and hurting, and how to move on from it and forget about it. It really will make you a better partner...if you’ve never experienced the amazing highs and crushing lows of love, you’ll never know how good your own relationship is, and you’ll always be fearful of the unknown.

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Learn those useful things that no one ever seems to know...the things you always need to ask someone else to do. How to change a tyre, properly lay a table, cook a full roast, walk with a book on your head. How to back up your hard drive, and change a fuse. You’ll be much more self-reliant, and you won’t have to nag him into doing these things. Independance is freedom, and is very sexy. Remember that!

Once you’ve done all of these things, you’ll have experienced most situations, and you’ll be ready for marriage and for giving yourself to someone else. You’ll be independent, healthy, happy and self-reliant, and ready to have a fulfilling relationship. And best of all? You’ll be able to get married without half of the usual frets and worries. Have you thought of something every woman should do before she ties the knot? Please let me know!

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