8 Gross Guy Habits ...

I don’t know why men have itchier butts than we do, but I suspect it’s all the extra hair. Who knows. I’m not necessarily grossed out when they scratch their butts; what makes me shudder is when they dig and dig and scratch… do they have bugs? Hemorrhoids? What? I don’t know. I don’t WANT to know.

It’s happened countless times: I’ll be innocently driving in my car, minding my own business, and I’ll look over at the driver in the car next to me and see them picking their nose. Not just a polite scratch or subtle pick — they’re digging for gold. Being in your car doesn’t make you invisible. I can see you! And I don’t even want to think about what you’re going to do with whatever you might find in there. Of the dozens of times I’ve seen this, only once has it been a woman doing the nose-picking. All of the other times, it’s been men.

To me, toilet bowls look HUGE. GIGANTIC. So why on earth can most men manage to miss when they’re peeing? Do they just not care, or is the toilet really too small for them to get it in the bowl? And when they do miss, why can’t they take a tissue and clean up the little puddles themselves?

I can’t imagine how awkward and uncomfortable it must be, especially in hot weather, to have dangly boy parts. But if I was a guy, and my boy part were needing adjustment, I would do it in private, not in plain view of innocent civilians.

For some reason, the sidewalk and parking lot in front of my gym appear to have been rained upon. Upon closer inspection (usually after inadvertently stepping in a “puddle”), I realize it’s spit. Someone, or more likely, a lot of someones, have spit all over the place. Worse, the drinking fountain in the gym is full of spit. Nasty!

Guys, as you grow older, your nose and ear hairs are going to sprout quite vigorously. You need to pay attention to this, or risk looking like you’ve got large, hairy caterpillars living on your ears. Or playing hide-and-seek in your nose. This is why drugstores sell personal hair trimmers. Please, use one.

When guys shave their beards, and perform other man-scaping tasks, they tend to leave little snips of hair and shave cream behind, which I like to call “sink tinsel.” This in itself isn’t gross. But if they don’t wash it down the drain, that can be quite disgusting for the poor girl who has to come in and clean up after them. It only takes a moment to rinse the sink. Please do it. Please.

This is something men and women alike can be guilty of. We all have gas. We all need to burp and fart. But why do guys seem proud, delighted with the noise and smell they’re able to produce? It’s not funny, or cute, or amusing. It’s gross. REALLY gross.

I know, I know, we women have some pretty nasty habits too (one episode of “Jersey Shore” nails that). But these are just a few of the reasons guys gross us out. Which of these gross guy habits bothers you the most? Or is there another one that makes you shudder? Please share!

Top Photo Credit: Gaspar Giordano