20 Funny Jokes about Men …

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20 Funny Jokes about Men ...

Feeling a bit anti-man today? Here are twenty funny jokes that are bound to bring a smile to your face :)

#1

Never let your man’s mind wonder – it’s too little to be out on its own.

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  1. October 31, 2011 at 11:29 am Permalink
    menna says:
    these jokes comparing between men and women are amazing and so funny n all of it is true!!!
    Well-loved. Like?: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
    • October 31, 2011 at 2:32 pm
      Sheila says:
      Glad you liked them Menna! :)
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  2. April 7, 2011 at 8:45 am Permalink
    princessboo says:
    hey its all in fun and games. i make fun of men all the time but i love my hubby to death and never have anything against him . i just think the jokes are ... See more funny and when i txt him one everyday he laughs about it tells his buddys then they send me one back..lol beign harsh on men cracks me up but i can take it back in return. theres nothing wrong with a few good jokes!!
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  3. April 1, 2011 at 8:21 pm Permalink
    Appreciative of Men says:
    Students in the psychology program at a state university were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
    “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor to a student from Arkansas, “what is the opposite ... See more of joy?”
    “Sadness,” replied the diligent student.
    “And the opposite of depression?” he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
    “Elation,” she said.
    “And you, sir,” he said to the young man from Texas. “What about the opposite of woe?”
    The Texan thought for a moment and replied, “Sir, I believe that would be ‘giddy up.’”
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    • April 1, 2011 at 8:46 pm
      Denise says:
      Thanks for sharing that joke. =D
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  4. March 31, 2011 at 9:00 am Permalink
    Appreciative of Men says:
    Yeah I don’t mind jokes about men, but I like to know that it really is just a joke and underneath there is still appreciativeness. Anomious, women don’t do dangerous jobs in any substantial numbers ... See more comparable to men. Do the research, check the statistics. Start noticing the gender of people you see doing the highly danger jobs – not just being in the job, but actually doing the dangerous task. Even where women are in the dangerous jobs, like police and defence, men are getting killed at least 10 times more, across all dangerous jobs because when the job gets dangerous the men protect the women. Plus the stats are misleading, for instance nearly all women in mining work in admin, not underground. I don’t appreciate women doing dangerous jobs alongside men because I know the men are protecting themselves and their female colleagues and it makes the job more dangerous for the men. My brother is a policemen and has often had to tackle dangerous people and been injured while his female partners have never assisted him until its over. If he had male partners he wouldn’t get injured so often. Its just how it is, but most women won’t face it.
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  5. February 20, 2011 at 3:19 am Permalink
    laura says:
    Ummm hello!! Men make jokes about women. I love this. Put up more!!!!
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  7. April 23, 2012 at 5:55 pm Permalink
    Constantine Tsarkos says:
    Ummm yeh…In an effort to make a Girly Friend of mine Laugh i ended in here reading the Jokes…Honestly as a man i found some of them more like facts rather than Jokes but as ... See more stated in a Joke above i fixed it a bit…
    Men are like… ..Parking spots.
    The good ones are taken or Ignored (by Females), and the rest are Assholes.
    But some jokes were total fail…Maybe it`s because i`m a man but…anyhow.
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    • April 24, 2012 at 2:28 am
      Denise says:
      Hi Constantine. Welcome to All Women Stalk!

      Thank you for stopping by and for taking time to read us.
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  8. July 26, 2011 at 5:55 pm Permalink
    gravitys rainbow says:
    ummmm censoring is bad. prohibits self realization and innovation, let people say whatever they want, the idea of language is to communicate ideas and express opinions, desires, and convictions, arguing over semantics is not logical, ... See more hear other people, let other people hear you, viewpoints will be modeled as deemed necessary or allowable
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    • August 16, 2011 at 11:27 am
      Anonymous says:
      uh yea ok whatever…….
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  9. April 7, 2011 at 8:51 am Permalink
    princessboo says:
    Appreciative of Men….are you a woman????? i have never met a woman so ready to jump down everyones throat b/c they had a few humorous jokes about men….first off there are sites with jokes about ... See more women.men comment on them. if you dont liek the jokes dont bash the poetry just don t read it!
    check this site out
    http://www.guy-sports.com/jokes/woman_jokes.htm...
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  10. April 3, 2011 at 3:03 am Permalink
    Appreciative of Men says:
    I thought I had been a bit serious and I should lighten up.
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  11. March 30, 2011 at 6:50 am Permalink
    Krishy says:
    I agree with Laura. These are hilarious and so true.
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    • March 26, 2012 at 3:08 am
      Anonymous says:
      Falseeeeeee :P
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  12. February 18, 2011 at 7:30 pm Permalink
    anomious says:
    Thats a very nice statement Appreciative of Men, but women do that too. Appreciative of Good People would be a more correct name.
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    • February 27, 2011 at 9:19 am
      Appreciative of Men says:
      Look at the soldiers, police, prison officers, underground miners, high up construction workers, sewage workers, firemen, roof workers, truck and train drivers, etc, they are all the dangerous jobs. Women rarely do them, and even ... See more when they do they stand a step behind the men, thats why pro rata / percentage 10 times more men die in these jobs than women – check the statistics for yourself. I know the statistics because the men in my family are in various forces and other dangerous jobs where they have to protect the women who on paper are supposed to be doing the same job but in reality are just tag-alongs. I have inside knowledge of the facts and I can face the facts and still be a proud woman. I dont need to be an ungrateful feminist to feel good about myself.
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    • February 27, 2011 at 9:28 pm
      Denise says:
      @Appreciative of Men — I don’t think that anomious is saying we shouldn’t be appreciative of men. She’s saying that women also put their lives on the line. I believe that she’s saying it would ... See more be better if we appreciate everyone who does dangerous jobs for the greater good.

      @anomious — I think that AofM is just pointing out that we shouldn’t be bashing men and that we should also appreciate what they do for us. (She did comment on a post about men jokes).
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  13. February 16, 2011 at 7:32 pm Permalink
    Sharon says:
    Anyone stop to think this is just humor? I highly doubt it is a bunch of angry women sitting around not getting over some A-hole but more like the women that are married to the ... See more men who like making up ‘stupid women & Stupid Blonde’ jokes! Nothing wrong with a little humor, it lightens the load and makes folks smile. I know MEN who laugh at these little one liners… no harm intended, no harm done. :)
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  14. February 10, 2011 at 6:25 pm Permalink
    Cindy says:
    ROFL!!!!!
    Ranks up there with blonde jokes!
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  15. February 10, 2011 at 4:28 am Permalink
    martin says:
    thank ya ladies.

    martin
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  16. February 10, 2011 at 12:56 am Permalink
    lynn-maree hammond (south africa) says:
    Lol this is abit harsh
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  17. January 29, 2011 at 4:06 am Permalink
    Appreciative of Men says:
    I think I have found the secret. I think it is just to speak my mind. I spoke up about it at the staffroom lunch table. I told them that I appreciate men for all ... See more the good they do in our world and for the sacrifices they make. I reminded them men work down mines, in steel foundries, quarries, building sites, plastic factories, all dangerous and hard labor where death and injury is common and where most men’s bodies are broken down and dissabled before they retire. And they do this so we can have our metal machines, electric copper wiring, bricks and concrete and so much else we take for granted. Some people look around but they can’t see whats there. I try to see things as they are. I am only young but I am finding that when I camly and clearly speak my mind that even the tough older feminists go quiet around me and look like they realise they are wrong. I am not afraid to speak any more. I can see our society has a lot to thank our men for. And women too. But when it comes to sacrificing self for others, whether from hard work that kills them slowly or defence and protection that can kill or maim them suddenly, its mostly men who do it. and we middle class girls think we make sacrifices by printing both sides of the paper and doing recycling. I say things like this around them like Im thinking out loud. Im glad Im in my work place, I want to make them better. Then I’ll get another job. I am only 22 but I know I am right because it is there, but its like the old feminists got blindfolds on and no thankfulness in their hearts.
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  18. January 28, 2011 at 3:44 am Permalink
    Appreciative of Men says:
    I am a receptionis in community welfare, so I am surrounded by feminists. Counselors, social workers, psychologists. They talk about equality but its just a tired buzzword. the basic philosphy is women good, men bad. ... See more We have a male youth worker but I think he knows he has to be profeminist so he just reflects us. I think he lost his character because hes nervous when he says manly opinions and looks around. I try to have a positive influence. We have a male cleaner, who I am nice to because he sees the jokes about men on the staffroom notice board. Thats their appreciation for cleaning our toilets. But he always help me move things and is a nice man. We had a fire in rubbish bin last year with lots of smoke. we ran outside and didn’t have a thought about him. we even told the firemen everyone was safe. then he came out form making sure no one was left inside. thats what I mean. it made me feel awful. Men have something we dont. My dad has it too, and my brother and boy friend too, but not at first, my brother woke it up in him.
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    • January 28, 2011 at 3:29 pm
      Denise says:
      Yes, we forget that men and women are around to complement each other. We are not here to compete even though it’s been that way for a loooooooooooong time. I’m sorry that you are in ... See more such a toxic environment. Maybe you, the male youth worker, and even the janitor and others who share your sentiment can come up with ways to counteract the other workers’ negative attitude.

      If I were in your place, I would have ranted to someone by now. Or I would have stopped talking to the people there. Worst case, I would be looking for another job.
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  19. January 26, 2011 at 1:35 am Permalink
    Appreciative of Men says:
    Thank you Denise. It is nice to know I am not alone. Many of my friends a feminists and sometimes I feel ashamed of the things they say about men. Personally I am very appreciative ... See more of men. All the dirtiest rottenest most dangerous jobs in our society are done mainly by men. Men work the longest hourse in jobs so hard and filthy. In some male dominated jobs the average life expectancy doesn’t even reach retirement age. In all the situations that call for people to risk their lives or give their lives for the rest of us, who steps up to do? Do we? Do we? Do we? No we don’t. And yet we rubbish men. Whenever a threat comes, be it fire, invader, criminal, it is mainly men who step up to meet the threat and put themself between it and the rest of us. They die in their hundreds and thousands keeping us safe and cosy, and we rubbish them. We try to feminise them and make them sensitive new age, and tell them to talk about their feelings and cry more. When they do we laugh at them or see them as weak. I am proud not to be a feminist. And I am sick and tired of my ungrateful feminist sisters. I love my father, my brother, my boy friend, and all good men for who they are – for being men.
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    • January 27, 2011 at 12:40 pm
      Denise says:
      I have to say that I am a bit of a feminist. But I do not believe in bashing or making fun of other people. I sometimes do it but not to the point where ... See more I become known as a male-bashing feminist. I hope that you can talk to your friends about your take on the subject. If they do not want to listen, then I think you need some new friends. I don’t really like hanging out with people who like talking BS about others so I would advice you to do the same. Sooner or later, their mentality might rub off on you and you might be as negative as they are (although judging from your strong appreciation of men, that’s not going to happen).
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  20. January 25, 2011 at 2:38 am Permalink
    Appreciative of Men says:
    So many women rubbish men. I find that sad.
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    • January 25, 2011 at 8:52 am
      Denise says:
      Me too. I find the dissing of men sad and bitter. I mean, I’ve had my fair share of a-holes and douche bags but I never really thought of making fun of them. I get ... See more mad and then I let it go. I don’t even remember their names and faces. I find it a waste of time and energy to be a man hater (or a hater of any kind, for that matter).
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    • February 13, 2011 at 12:51 am
      Mickeyboy90 says:
      Hi, What an Oasis from insightful young women! many men are damaged men from exposure to highly stressed, toxic enviroments like industrialisation and war, unable to relate to themselves or their male family members or ... See more colleges. Their traumatic behaviours, risk taking, drug/alcohol abuse, violence etc are mostly cries for help, no more tools in the box to deal with the perceived expectations we get from society on what a man should be, we often lack of REAL male role models in our their lives, divorce now plays its part for boys. I am in mens groups designed to expose men to other ways, healthy happier, respect for themselves, their families and importantly the women in their lives, mother, partners, daughters and friends. Steven Biddulph has written some of the best books on Manhood worth a read for insightful young women who care about themselves and the men in thier lives, of course passing it on after reading is possibly the greatest gift you could give. It has been my hounour to stumble across your conversations ladies, forever replace the dark attitudes you see in your daily lives with love and the light of awareness, no matter your age or status, TRUTH spoken from the heart will always touch aonther heart and that is where healing begins, i hope i have added some here value. Mick – Om Namah Shiviya
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  21. January 22, 2011 at 7:29 am Permalink
    b says:
    all women should be against the law.
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    • January 23, 2011 at 6:17 am
      Sheila says:
      Err,
      Say what now?
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  22. January 21, 2011 at 2:49 am Permalink
    VJ says:
    Down with the immature and insecure behavior girls.
    Yes. Women can’t do ALL the things that men can.
    Neither can Men do ALL the things women can.
    So What??
    Both have their place and purpose ... See more in the world and their jokes should be taken in good humor.
    And sadly I must add that Reverse gender inequality is Indeed on the rise in the society…
    Women take advantage of their gender and rise to power while claiming and believing that “in spite of being a women”,
    They have succeeded. Sour game.
    And Men underestimate women and let them have their way which is perfectly fine. But then whine about them bossing around when its just in the nature.
    Things won’t change. But hopefully, they should.
    More broad minded approach is needed.
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  23. January 8, 2011 at 9:12 am Permalink
    Odion says:
    Ladies and guys, you need to pay attention to the Steve’s point. The runaway feminism in Europe has dealt severe blows men’s self esteem and their sub-consciousness. Added is the hreat to liberty in ... See more Europe by religious extremist is real. European men are finding love and sex refuge in the Far East, Africa not much in the Western world. The women should rethink about their assault on the male figure. At the end of the day its not everything that man does that women can do – sorry. Men are immigrating out of Europe and many are not committing to relationships in Europe as needed by the women folk.

    I like the jokes however.

    Cheers,

    Odion
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    • January 8, 2011 at 10:05 am
      Sheila says:
      Err Odion,
      SERIOUSLY?! What is it that men can do that women can’t? What is with this redundant thinking anyway? Jeez.
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  24. January 2, 2011 at 2:14 pm Permalink
    nubz says:
    so nubz
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  25. January 2, 2011 at 9:41 am Permalink
    Drade says:
    how about this, this is actually fact, change of sex is mostly done by men, strange
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  26. December 27, 2010 at 3:12 pm Permalink
    banani chakraborthy says:
    hey guys come on be a sport,why are you getting a pinch on the wrong side of your A**. when you can come out with 100 different things about women and laugh about it, ... See more we gals don’t have a problem in fact it so happens that we enjoy the humour too. These are meant to be laughed about and forgotten.
    CHEERS Shiela
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    • December 28, 2010 at 3:21 am
      Sheila says:
      Thank you Banani!
      I wish everyone could just have a sense of humor about these things and move on!
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    • December 31, 2010 at 3:22 pm
      nubz says:
      realy nubz

      How many girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
      none, they can cook in the dark!
      huehuehuehue
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  27. December 18, 2010 at 11:36 am Permalink
    Timi says:
    I just luv dis site• I luv 2 laff and d jokes and comments especially from dat under achieving son of one of our own beautiful genre is so funny• Wonder y people get cranked ... See more up at jokes anyway, like a Nigerian proverb says, an old woman who refuses to accept old age gets upset when old age is mentioned in a joke• I understand ur grouse man• Hahaha!
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  28. December 9, 2010 at 12:58 am Permalink
    Johnkennedy Akushie says:
    Hey! Ladies I love U all; I know U have a sense of humour as large as the Pacific, so crack ur ribs with the following:

    1. QUESTION OF THE DAY??? How do you ... See more know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…”

    2. QUESTION OF THE DAY??? Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    3. QUESTION OF THE DAY??? Why do men fart more than women?
    Because women can’t shut up long enough to
    build up the required pressure.

    4. QUESTION OF THE DAY??? If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

    5. QUESTION OF THE DAY??? How is a handgun better than a woman?
    You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
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    • December 9, 2010 at 7:32 am
      Sheila says:
      Loll Johnkennedy,
      Men DO fart more than women, don’t they!

      No but seriously, these were pretty funny/ Thanks for sharing :)
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  29. November 30, 2010 at 6:00 pm Permalink
    eric shun says:
    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

    A; nothing…she’s already been told twice. My advice is go find another….they are just jokes; )
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  30. November 2, 2010 at 2:16 pm Permalink
    Ashley says:
    This all so stupid. Either laugh at the jokes and ammuse your self or just leave the site & find your “lols” “lmao” and “ha ha’s” somewhere else. There’s no need to argue . These jokes are funny.
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