Just sex-two words that undeniably grab attention, and often lead to a flurry of raised eyebrows and whispered conversations. If you've ever found yourself in a whirlwind affair, caught between sheets and conversations that stop at "good morning," then this article is tailor-made for you. Not to burst your bubble (or maybe do exactly that), but just sex is a reality for many in 2024, particularly in our fast-paced, swipe-right culture where Netflix and chill can sometimes become Netflix and... you get the idea.
Picture this: you’re with someone exclusively for their fantastic physical connection. You’re not emotionally invested; you don’t celebrate month-iversaries, and the idea of a future together is as fuzzy as a Sunday morning hangover. Ah, been there, done that. Personally speaking, during my ill-fated college romance, it took multiple alarm bells and a friend's relentless wisecracks to see that our emotional bond was shallower than a kiddie pool.
But hey, I'm not alone, right? Many folks are navigating these choppy waters, unsure if they’re more like friends with benefits or just conveniently bypassing the friend part altogether. The good news? This guide is your life raft, your beacon of clarity. By the end of this gem, you'll nail the subtle and not-so-subtle signs they don't introduce you to their friends and that classic moment when your chat history brims only with late-night texts. Been a victim of the mysterious ‘Hey stranger’ text at 2 AM? Yes, we’ll decode that too.
Let’s keep it real. The emotional investment from someone who's only in it for the nookie usually equals zilch. You’ll notice scant post-coital cuddles, and the romantic gestures are often as rare as teeth on a hen. Frankly, stuff like getting your first name wrong (ouch, true story) and never discussing any future plans falls right into our hilarious yet brutally honest signs it’s merely a fling.
So why is 2024 any different? Well, with the rise of casual dating apps, navigating the maze of commitment-free entanglements has never been more confusing. Technology's great but often complicates what was already a convoluted pursuit.
In this article, you'll also get plenty of laughs along the way (promise), and considering issues like avoiding public places becomes all too relatable.
Alright, enough teasing. Fasten your seatbelts and arm yourself with some solid insights, as we delve into 21 spot-on signs that confirm you're in it for the fun and not the forever.
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1. Every Time You See Each Other It’s Only to Have Sex
So many women and men are having this type of relationship thinking that it’s more and it’s not. It’s Just Sex.
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This type of relationship is not uncommon, but it is important to remember that it is not a healthy or sustainable one. It is possible to develop feelings for someone you have sex with, but it is unlikely to lead to a lasting relationship. People in this type of relationship should be aware that it is not likely to evolve into a more meaningful one. Additionally, it is important to practice safe sex and to be aware of the potential risks of having sex without a committed relationship.
2. Only Comes over at Night
They call you around 10 pm or later asking if you can come over or if they can come over around midnight. A lot of people think “oh they are just really busy” no they are calling for a booty call. It’s Just Sex.
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This behavior is an unmistakable signal that their interest in you isn't about emotional connection, but rather a physical one. If it's always after-hours and never during daylight – think about it, are brunch dates or afternoon walks in the park ever on the agenda? Likely not. It's a relationship that's operating on their time, suiting their needs, and it's all about the convenience of it. That's not partnership; that's a call of desire. In your gut, you know there's no depth to these encounters.
3. Doesn’t Want to Go out Anywhere
Yes staying at home is nice sometimes but there is a whole world outside of the bedroom. It’s Just Sex
4. Never Talks about Family and Friends
Think, do you even know if their parents are alive, do they have siblings. If you don’t know it might just be sex.
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In a real relationship, sharing details about one's inner circle is a given. It's a way to let someone in, to make them feel included in your life. If you're in the dark about even the most basic details of their personal life, it's a pretty telling sign. Conversations that evade anything deeper than surface-level topics can indicate a lack of emotional investment, which is a red flag if you're looking for something more meaningful than casual encounters.
If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.
5. Doesn’t Want to Hear about Your Family and Friends
Are you bummed out about your family and want to talk about it and they don’t want to hear about it. It could be just sex
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6. Phone Conversations or Text Messages Are Only in a Sexual Nature
Do you only swap sexy texts or photos? Some relationships are like this but others are Just Sex.
7. You Only Meet at Places Where Sex Can Occur
Only going to their house/apartment or vice verse might just be sex.
8. No Sleepovers
They come over at midnight have sex and then around 2 am they want to go home or send you home. Oh yeah it’s just sex.
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This behavior points to a clear-cut arrangement where emotional ties aren't on the table. If you find that pillow talk is non-existent and the bed is quickly cooled after the deed is done, it's a strong indication that you're in a hookup scenario rather than a blossoming relationship. It's all about physical satisfaction—once that's achieved, the connection seems to fizzle out, literally by night's end. If you're longing for a cuddly morning-after, you may need to adjust your expectations with this setup.
9. You Don’t Eat Together
Ever hear that old saying “a couple that eats together stays together”.
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This adage underscores the intimacy of sharing meals, a basic human connection bonding us through the ritual of eating. When your encounters are solely bedroom-based, skipping the dinner table talks, you miss out on this fundamental form of closeness. It's not just about the food—it's the conversations, the laughs, and those tender moments that weave the fabric of a relationship. If all you savor together is the physical, it might be a sign that you're in a casual fling rather than a nourishing partnership.
10. They Take a Shower Right after Sex and Send You on Your Way
Normally you want to rest a bit and maybe talk. When they all of a sudden they want you to leave it’s probably just sex.
11. Never Talk about Life outside the Bedroom
There are so many other things going on that you could talk about.
12. You Only Have a Cell Phone or Beeper Number
It could be Just Sex
13. When You Talk It’s Only to Setup a Sex Time
Ever call then and setup a time to meet and you end up having sex. It’s Just Sex.
14. They Avoid You in Public
You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.
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When someone is willing to share intimate moments with you but avoids acknowledging you in social settings, it's a glaring signal that they're separating those aspects of their interaction with you. It may sting a bit to realize this, but clarity is key in these situations. If you find that they're consistently slipping away in crowds or giving you the cold shoulder when friends are around, it's likely that they want to keep things casual and aren't interested in integrating you into their broader life or circle. This detachment is symptomatic of a connection that lacks depth beyond the physical.
15. Only Spends a Couple of Hours with You
Only spend enough time with you to have sex. Then It’s Just Sex.
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If your partner consistently makes excuses to leave right after intimacy or shows an evident lack of interest in spending quality time before or after the encounter, it's a stark sign. They prioritize their convenience, ensuring minimal investment beyond the physical connection. This behavioral pattern suggests they might not be emotionally invested in the relationship, but rather in satisfying their carnal desires. It's crucial to recognize when you're being relegated to an afterthought rather than being cherished as a valued companion.
16. There is No Quality Time
No matter how busy he says he is, if was serious about the two of you he’d make an effort to spend time with you outside the bedroom.
17. He Keeps His Distance
He makes sure the two of you never get too close emotionally by keeping things from you. If you tell him you like it when he does a certain something, he’ll stop because he wants to keep things casual emotionally.
18. He Tells You so
Has he ever straight-up told you that he’s not interested in anything serious and just wants to play the field? He wouldn’t be saying these things if it weren’t true!
19. You Initiate All Communication
If it’s not about sex, all communication is likely to come from you. Are you the only one suggesting dates? Are you the only one who tries to start a real conversation when the two of you are together?
20. He Doesn’t Care if He Hurts Your Feelings
If you get visibly upset about the lack of communication or closeness between you two and doesn’t care, he probably doesn’t care about you, either.
21. He Cheats
Or should I say he has multiple sex partners that he’s not very private about. If the guy is openly having sex with multiple partners, it is definitely not a relationship.
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hi need some help. Im 21 and the guy im seeying is 41. I know its a big difference in age but to me its not a problem. I got to know him over txt and long phone conversations before i slept with him, but im usually one of those people who listens to their gut instinct, so i made the first move. He is my first so we took things slowly and only got physical after 3 months. He says he works long hours, often will not call for three days at a time, and when we go out for a drink and its usualy drinks at the pub only with a few occassions of going to a restaraunt, and then we would end up in bed. Often he would say that i cant stay over cos he has to be up early to work but then tries to cover up by saying 'you know i wouldnt do it if i didnt have to be up early'. He recently told me he is having tought time at work, but the things above have been happening since the begining of us seeing each other and his work related problems only within the past month. I asked him ages ago where we stand and he replied 'lets just see how things go'. I know he had quite a few relationships, some lasted more than two years, but apart from that he wont speak of his past. He said the right woman never came along and he doesnt have any kids. He will often mention how i should be with a guy my own age and not him, about how much older he is than me. When im busy and cant see him, he keeps on persisting for an hour at a time, until he realizes that im unavailable. He did ask me however to tell him when i do find someone so he isnt second best. At one oint i walked out for a week without speeking to him and told him we shouldnt see each other as he could not offer me what i wanted to which he replyed, that he sadly agrees and that if i ever need anything i should give him a ring. UNfortunatly a week later i was the one to give the first call to him. Since then we got on fine, until recently, when i had an issue with a text from a friend and he suggested he write something, when i deliberated this, he said i dont trust him. In the end i handed it over with 'new text' space for him, but instead he closed it and went into my inbox to read my texts. I wasnt happy about it and told him in a polite way but it still makes me angry. The whole situation often makes me feel like im the booty call girl in his eyes, but when im with him im happy, but i would not call it love, just happy. Please give your advice. Thanks for your time
Hi, I have a bit of a dilemma with my roommate...he is 34 and I am 23 and we've been living together for almost a year. When I first moved in, I thought he was such a cool roommate (and Ive had bad roommates before). We hung out, talked, drank wine together...the longer I lived there I noticed that he might like me and it turned out that he did. Anyway, weve been sleeping with each other for 4 months maybe, not consistently but on and off. He recently told me he loves me. But the strange thing is he doesnt want to date me, take me out on dates, or anything of that sort. Im very confused by what were doing and where this is going. He keeps saying that he is "damaged" and has committment issues, and I understand where he is coming from but at the same time Im beginning to think it's just me. Like, if another girl came along he would be with her and that maybe I came off too easy. At the same time, he gets jealous when I hang out with my friends that are guys, or go on dates. He is always telling me how he doesnt like me leaving with other guys, even though I dont do anything with anyone but him. I also told him I wanted to move because I dont like not being able to decipher the situation between us and he got very upset. It seems like he cares so I can't understand what's going through his mind and why doesnt he just want to commit to me and I to him? Please help!
That I had a pregnancy scare, seemed happy etc
thanks for the advice everyone...I will try to be strong (^_^)
I met a guy online 3 months ago we went out on a date once and then I came to his house abotu twice after that, we havent really seen each toher mcuh he says he's busy, but we did have sex the one time, and he does text me a few tiems a week I asked him if he saw a future with us and he said for me to slow down so I ended things with him do you think he just wanted sex from me he didnt seem upset that I called it off he said ok I understand..
Dear Mo, If it is possible, stop contacting this guy. You need to take care of yourself and remember that you are precious. You are allowing him to make you feel like less of a person, but the power is in your hands to surround yourself with people that appreciate you enough to call you back, to take the time to see you and spend time with you. It is probably a good idea to cut this guy off, take some time to take care of you, a break from dating and spend time with friends that love you, respect you and make you feel great.
Comments
anonymous:hi need some help. Im 21 and the guy im seeying is 41. I know its a big difference in age but to me its not a problem. I got to know him over txt and long phone conversations before i slept with him, but im usually one of those people who listens to their gut instinct, so i made the first move. He is my first so we took things slowly and only got physical after 3 months. He says he works long hours, often will not call for three days at a time, and when we go out for a drink and its usualy drinks at the pub only with a few occassions of going to a restaraunt, and then we would end up in bed. Often he would say that i cant stay over cos he has to be up early to work but then tries to cover up by saying 'you know i wouldnt do it if i didnt have to be up early'. He recently told me he is having tought time at work, but the things above have been happening since the begining of us seeing each other and his work related problems only within the past month. I asked him ages ago where we stand and he replied 'lets just see how things go'. I know he had quite a few relationships, some lasted more than two years, but apart from that he wont speak of his past. He said the right woman never came along and he doesnt have any kids. He will often mention how i should be with a guy my own age and not him, about how much older he is than me. When im busy and cant see him, he keeps on persisting for an hour at a time, until he realizes that im unavailable. He did ask me however to tell him when i do find someone so he isnt second best. At one oint i walked out for a week without speeking to him and told him we shouldnt see each other as he could not offer me what i wanted to which he replyed, that he sadly agrees and that if i ever need anything i should give him a ring. UNfortunatly a week later i was the one to give the first call to him. Since then we got on fine, until recently, when i had an issue with a text from a friend and he suggested he write something, when i deliberated this, he said i dont trust him. In the end i handed it over with 'new text' space for him, but instead he closed it and went into my inbox to read my texts. I wasnt happy about it and told him in a polite way but it still makes me angry. The whole situation often makes me feel like im the booty call girl in his eyes, but when im with him im happy, but i would not call it love, just happy. Please give your advice. Thanks for your time
Anonymous:Hi, I have a bit of a dilemma with my roommate...he is 34 and I am 23 and we've been living together for almost a year. When I first moved in, I thought he was such a cool roommate (and Ive had bad roommates before). We hung out, talked, drank wine together...the longer I lived there I noticed that he might like me and it turned out that he did. Anyway, weve been sleeping with each other for 4 months maybe, not consistently but on and off. He recently told me he loves me. But the strange thing is he doesnt want to date me, take me out on dates, or anything of that sort. Im very confused by what were doing and where this is going. He keeps saying that he is "damaged" and has committment issues, and I understand where he is coming from but at the same time Im beginning to think it's just me. Like, if another girl came along he would be with her and that maybe I came off too easy. At the same time, he gets jealous when I hang out with my friends that are guys, or go on dates. He is always telling me how he doesnt like me leaving with other guys, even though I dont do anything with anyone but him. I also told him I wanted to move because I dont like not being able to decipher the situation between us and he got very upset. It seems like he cares so I can't understand what's going through his mind and why doesnt he just want to commit to me and I to him? Please help!
Arlz:That I had a pregnancy scare, seemed happy etc
Mo:thanks for the advice everyone...I will try to be strong (^_^)
Dana:I met a guy online 3 months ago we went out on a date once and then I came to his house abotu twice after that, we havent really seen each toher mcuh he says he's busy, but we did have sex the one time, and he does text me a few tiems a week I asked him if he saw a future with us and he said for me to slow down so I ended things with him do you think he just wanted sex from me he didnt seem upset that I called it off he said ok I understand..
sunny:Dear Mo, If it is possible, stop contacting this guy. You need to take care of yourself and remember that you are precious. You are allowing him to make you feel like less of a person, but the power is in your hands to surround yourself with people that appreciate you enough to call you back, to take the time to see you and spend time with you. It is probably a good idea to cut this guy off, take some time to take care of you, a break from dating and spend time with friends that love you, respect you and make you feel great.
:
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So many women and men are having this type of relationship thinking that it’s more and it’s not. It’s Just Sex.
They call you around 10 pm or later asking if you can come over or if they can come over around midnight. A lot of people think “oh they are just really busy” no they are calling for a booty call. It’s Just Sex.
Yes staying at home is nice sometimes but there is a whole world outside of the bedroom. It’s Just Sex
Think, do you even know if their parents are alive, do they have siblings. If you don’t know it might just be sex.
Are you bummed out about your family and want to talk about it and they don’t want to hear about it. It could be just sex
Do you only swap sexy texts or photos? Some relationships are like this but others are Just Sex.
Only going to their house/apartment or vice verse might just be sex.
They come over at midnight have sex and then around 2 am they want to go home or send you home. Oh yeah it’s just sex.
Ever hear that old saying “a couple that eats together stays together”.
Normally you want to rest a bit and maybe talk. When they all of a sudden they want you to leave it’s probably just sex.
There are so many other things going on that you could talk about.
It could be Just Sex
Ever call then and setup a time to meet and you end up having sex. It’s Just Sex.
You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.
Only spend enough time with you to have sex. Then It’s Just Sex.
No matter how busy he says he is, if was serious about the two of you he’d make an effort to spend time with you outside the bedroom.
He makes sure the two of you never get too close emotionally by keeping things from you. If you tell him you like it when he does a certain something, he’ll stop because he wants to keep things casual emotionally.
Has he ever straight-up told you that he’s not interested in anything serious and just wants to play the field? He wouldn’t be saying these things if it weren’t true!
If it’s not about sex, all communication is likely to come from you. Are you the only one suggesting dates? Are you the only one who tries to start a real conversation when the two of you are together?
If you get visibly upset about the lack of communication or closeness between you two and doesn’t care, he probably doesn’t care about you, either.
Or should I say he has multiple sex partners that he’s not very private about. If the guy is openly having sex with multiple partners, it is definitely not a relationship.
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