All Women's Talk

Your Sexual Reputation Hand-written Thank You Notes and Other Old-fashioned Things

By Annie

“I don’t believe in email. I’m an old-fashioned girl. Iprefer calling and hanging up.” (Sarah Jessica Parker)

“It is better to be old-fashioned and right than to be up-to-dateand wrong.” (Tiorio, an ethical philosopher type)

According to the dictionary, an old-fashioned person favors ideas, customs, and styles of days gone by.

I'm waiting for someone to call me old-fashionedfor the ultra-fem, vintage clothing pieces I sometimes wear. But it's never happened.

Yet a man once told me that I wasbehind the times, based on my sexual decision making. In this case, mycalm decision to indefinitely delay his timeline -- of having sex after twowhole dinners out together -- seemed old-fashioned to him.

Well. Here I thought I was an old-fashioned girl for things like hand-writing thank you notes, and for refusing to date and breakup by abbreviated text messages.

Not for genuinely choosing what I wanted, or didn't want, with a man after two dates.

Like a lot of women, I'm a mix of the old and the new. For instance, some modern, colorful, unlady-like language passes my lips occasionally. More than occasionally, to be honest. I've also asked out a man or two in my time.

And that is the point. I should be able to mix it up -- old and new -- and be who I am naturally.

But for women, when it comes to sexual expression and experience, the reality is that we can still get a "reputation" in a different way than our male counterparts do.

That's why, depending on the man and the situation, we run the risk of being more damned if we do than if we don't.

So I ask you:

Is the idea of a woman's "bad" sexual reputation so old-fashioned in this modern world that you reject it outright?

Or are you conscious of, and concerned about, the way men perceive you as a sexual being?

--- you hand-write thank you notes.

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