Red Beard’s 30th birthday is coming up in a couple weeks. I’m very excited about this day for a few reasons. One is that I have a feeling that I instantly matured once I turned 30. That’s probably a load of horse poop, but that’s the way I remember it happening. So I’m excited for the infinite wisdom that is about to descend upon Red Beard. [He will decide what he wants to be when he grows up, and he will also decide that he can’t live without me. Very exciting.]
As I remember it, I turned 30 and suddenly I was an adult. I stopped thinking of the future as something that will eventually happen. I broke up with E, because it occurred to me that I was no longer a silly young chickadee who took pleasure in dating an evasive malcontent. I wanted someone who would be a constant in my life, a partner, someone who would be game for eternal mutual support. In order to start on the path of finding that person, I had to ditch the noncommittal killjoy.
Then when I turned 31 last year, it was time for me to decide what I needed to be happy in my professional life. During my 31st year, which of course I am still enjoying, it occurred to me that I need to do something that has to do with writing and creativity. Well, I’ve got that in my day job.
Since I’ll be 32 in a month and a half, I think I’ll come up with a few more goals.
-I will expand on my professional goals to include becoming a novelist. (At 33, maybe my goal will be to become a full-time novelist.)
-I have recently decided, like as of an hour ago, I would like to have children. That doesn’t mean I want to have children right now, it means that I would like to have children eventually. Up until an hour ago, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to have kids at all. So while I won’t be having children in the next year, the goal would be to assess my life circumstances so that I can eventually be sure that this becomes a reality for me. To get even more specific about my goal, I would like to start trying within three years so that fertility problems hopefully won’t play a part in my modus operandi.
In case anyone is wondering, no, I don’t feel it’s appropriate for me to discuss this with RB right now, because – well – hello, we’ve only been living together for a little over a month, and RB still says things like, “For MY wedding, I want…” as opposed to, “For OUR wedding, what do you think about…” So it’s entirely possible that RB will not be the one who becomes my baby daddy.
Although of course the favorable outcome of the RB relationship would be marriage and family and a life of squeezing his adorable ass in the kitchen as opposed to a horrible breakup wherein we divide our personal assets and sell our condo. However, you never know what can happen in three whole years. What if he decides to be a double secret agent and I’m not allowed to know where he is. That my friends, does not a baby daddy make.
-Speaking of a condo, I will buy a condo. Again, I would love to buy a condo with RB, but all things considered, I think we’d better sign a pre-pre-nup since we are not even engaged. And about that … it was one thing to move in together when we’re not engaged. I’m starting to question the wisdom of buying a place together when we’re not engaged. It’s really cute to say that we think we’ll probably feel like tying the knot some day, but it seems kind of dumb to me to commingle our assets when we haven’t actually made the real decision to commit to each other.
I think I need to stop writing because I am scaring myself. I love RB, but as I said, we’ve only been living together for a month, so I need to let this topic breathe before I get all ahead of ourselves. My goals are officially tabled for the time being, but once I turn 32 on October 10th, it’s game on.
For Red Beard’s birthday I’m going to take him for a steak dinner. I will also join him for a shooting lesson at a firing range where we will get to try about 10 different guns over a four-hour period. Today I ordered his gift, and I will tell you what it is after he opens it. Tonight we are going to finalize whatever group party plans we may have with the friends.
I think I’m way more excited for Red Beard’s 30th than he is. I’m gathering he would rather stay in bed that day and have me wake him when it’s over.
