We’ve all suffered the tragic end of a relationship, where the experience is so painful that you swear you will never ever be involved with anyone as long as you live. Yet life moves on and the heart recovers. Here I present my slightly tongue in cheek guide to knowing when you’re ready to start dating again …
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You realise one day that you no longer want to devise horribly painful ways of killing your ex. In fact, you can barely remember what their name was. This is a very good sign, as it shows that they no longer have an impact on your emotions.
No, I am not speaking literally here. I am referring to the act of enjoying eyeing up handsome men. If you find yourself doing this, consider it even better than the previous point, as you are now starting to appreciate that there are other men out there.
You have learnt from your mistakes in the past. Now you are more aware of what you want from a relationship, what matters to you, and will not repeat past errors.
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Sometimes our confidence can take a real battering after a relationship ends. We feel unloved, unlovable and unwanted. Once you start to realise that you do have a lot going for you, and that you deserve to be loved, then you may well find someone who is right for you.
The worst mistake many of us can make is to rush into another relationship straight after the end of the previous one. Everyone needs time alone to reflect, and a relationship built on fear of being alone is guaranteed to be unhappy.
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You have picked yourself up, dusted yourself up, and built a full life that does not involve romance. Finding a partner should be about finding someone that complements you and adds something to your life, rather than being your life.
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You no longer compare every man unfavourably to your ex. It has dawned on you that he was not a Greek demigod, just a man with flaws like anyone else. You are now aware that there are plenty of men with potential out there.
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Anything that reminds you of your ex no longer makes you want to cry. You have happily tossed out anything that he gave you (I’ve kept the Mp3 player though) and deleted photos from your computer. You don’t feel the need to keep mementos of him.
When did you know that you were ready to date again? How much time did you need to recover from a break-up?
Top Photo Credit: t.t@o [off ou presque]
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