All Women's Talk

8 Ways to Get Rid of Salesmen ...

By Alison

Salesmen. They’re like a plague. Forever knocking or calling at the most inopportune time. So here I offer some suggestions on how to get rid of them. You may look like a total loon, but do you really care if the methods succeed?


Refuse to answer the door or phone. Ever.

Photo Credit: Mike Ambach


Answer the door with "Oh, you're here for the orgy then?"

Photo Credit: Violentz


Act the dimwit and simper "Oh, my husband deals with these things." Always worked for me.

Photo Credit: Sami Merriman


Stare at them without saying a word. Try not to blink as it’s even more effective then.

Photo Credit: Tambako the Jaguar


Learn to speak an obscure language and use it. Pretend not to understand a word they say.

Photo Credit: jovike


Put on a creepy Norman Bates voice and say "Oh, mother does so enjoy visitors. Mother, there’s another one of those nice salesmen … now have you put the knives away, mother …?"

Photo Credit: ozziebear80


If they phone, answer with "I am a recording. If you want to speak to a real person, press nine."

Photo Credit: Darren W


For religious callers, 1, 2 and 5 will be effective, especially no. 5, as they will think you are possessed.

Photo Credit: lioliz

Have you got any tried and tested techniques for getting rid of salesmen?

Top Photo Credit: Funky64

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