Do you believe that you can't be friends with your ex? Well, whether you believe the old adage or not, there are some ex's that you just can't be friends with. I mean, great friends are hard to find, but great friends who've shared your heart and your bed? As rare as hen's teeth, I'd say, and potentially very painful. Here are the signs you should steer clear...
So this one seems obvious, but it is really important. If there is even a niggling doubt of a feeling left for him, don't try to be his friend. You'll just relight the fire, and there is a reason he is an ex! Wishful thinking and exes are a really, really bad idea. Don't even try it!
You'll know if he is harbouring hidden feelings...and any suspicion you have should be met with a suddenly packed schedule and much less contact. It might be a huge confidence boost to know he is lusting after you, but it causes a turbo-charged atmosphere that's just waiting to explode!
If you didn't make good friends while you were dating, you don't have much chance afterwards! Cancel out the chemistry and sex, and you'll be left with two people who just don't get on. Whether it's a differing of opinions and morals or just a personality clash, don't waste your time!
Or he did. It doesn't matter who...friends who betray each other will never get on again, couples who do it just don't have a chance. Being friends involves being honest, frank and direct, as well as caring for the other person and looking out for their best interests, and if it didn't work in the relationship, it won't work out of it. Walk away from this one...trust me, it'll never work!
If he still treats your money as his, or you owe him, keep the relationship civil and professional. This new kind of relationship requires a completely clean slate, without feelings or emotions messing it up. Be polite and friendly, but keep him out of your dramas, and don't take him out for a drink. Cut your losses here, sort out the financial mess and walk away. Money and relationships? A definite do-not-mix!
Okay, so there might be more to it then that, but if you can't keep your hands off him, keep your distance. You'll never move on while you are sleeping with him, and you'll open yourself up to falling back in love with him and having your heart crushed when he introduces you to his new girlfriend ten minutes after you slept with last. Take it from one with experience, if you can't resist, remove the temptation!
Whether you were right or wrong, if a lack of trust eroded the relationship, don't try to prop up the relationship. You need your friends to be there for you, emotionally strong and completely trustable. If he couldn't do that for his girlfriend, he'll be even worse for his friends!
Of course, some relationships exist just to prove the general rule wrong...there are some people who will do these things and still maintain a friendship, but you can guarantee one of them will have suffered more pain due to their decision to try and be friends. And who wants that!? Leave your exes in the past, and go find Mr Right instead! And, of course, let me know what you think of these...
Top Photo Credit: ajpscs
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