Relationships are hard to negotiate...It’s easy to be blindsided by a sexy new man, flowers, chocolates and romantic nights in! It’s so easy to put those things that might usually concern you down to being a quirk, or just ignore the bad and enjoy the good. There are some signs that you should never ignore, though, and here they are...
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So sometimes, life gets in the way, and everyone is late occasionally. But that’s the key word...occasionally. Being late is not only inconvenient, but also disrespectful, and it’s something you shouldn’t put up with. Once or twice, and he can be forgiven. More often? Don’t be sat waiting when he finally shows up...you really are wasting your time.
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Do you always want to be the apologetic girlfriend, dying of embarrassment while everyone wonders what on earth you see in him? If not, then don’t put up with rudeness. Whether it’s directed towards you or anyone else, such as taxi drivers or waiters, don’t stand for it. It’s a big sign as to what kind of man he really is, and that kind of man really needs to be single.
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If he spent a lot of time with his exgirlfriend, it’s understandable that she will pop up in some of his stories. It’s a good sign, even, that he feels he can talk about her with you and you have no secrets. Be wary if she pops up all over the place, though, or if she is always the baddie. It could show obsession, and will be an indicator of his maturity too.
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There is a fine line between him being protective of you, which is normal and quite cute, and being over protective. Making sure you are okay when he’s out on a guy’s night out is normal, and protective. Making you wear a fake engagement ring on a girl’s night out is more controlling...and should raise major red flags.
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All couples will get invited out to places that drinking will be expected, whether it’s a night out together, or a wedding reception. The key is to make sure that you swap over being designated driver, so that both of you can have your fun. If he’s always the one getting to drink, and you’re the one dragging him to the car and helping him into bed, then he’s putting himself first, at the sacrifice of your happiness. Put him right, or find someone who will treat you right.
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Okay, so sex isn’t everything, but it is a big part of a long term relationship. After all, if you are only going to have sex with one person for the rest of your life, it needs to be good! So if he isn’t setting your world on fire, and it isn’t getting any better, it might be time to move on. Most men will really try to impress, so if he’s not, find someone else to keep your bed warm!
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Ever noticed how many comedies about men with relationship issues make a big deal about their faulty relationships with their parents? Well, it’s not a coincidence. If he’s got very strong emotions about his parents, whether they are good or bad, can often be a sign of issues to come. It’s a definite sign that he might be more trouble then he’s worth!
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It’s normal to occasionally put yourself down, and some people even do it to be funny, but if he’s constantly put himself down, you might want to reconsider. While all couples will go through serious issues at some point, the start is supposed to be exciting and fun, not a counselling session. If he can’t keep his negativity in his diary, cut it out of your life.
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If he is constantly checking his phone, his emails, twittering, or taking calls, then he isn’t able to disconnect. That, or he simply doesn’t find you worth disconnecting for. Romantic movies never include the hero checking his emails while they ride off into the sunset, and neither will your love story. Ask him for some time alone, and if he doesn’t take the hint, cut him off.
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If he’s forever checking out other girls, and flirting with them, then you can bet you won’t have a happy relationship. No one enjoys being jealous, and no one wants to be that angry girlfriend who can’t understand why their partner wants other women and not them. Don’t let him steal your confidence...let him flirt, and find someone who is committed to you.
While on their own, these signs can look quite normal, but often they point to bigger problems, and the deeper the relationship gets the harder it is to say goodbye. Take a balanced view of the relationship, and see how it’s holding up. Any big problems? Say goodbye. Those red flags are there for a reason! Have you spotted a red flag I’ve missed? Please let me know!
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