1. Me, Me, Me

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All he ever talks about is himself. How well he’s doing at work, his ambitions, how clever he is, how well he did at college … He never asks about your work, hobbies or plans, and he certainly never offers you a compliment. He loves to have his ego boosted though.

2. Expert

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He thinks he knows everything there is to know. If your car needs fixing or your house needs decorating, he’ll tell you what to do or tackle it himself, even if he has no knowledge on the subject whatsoever. He’ll give you unwanted advice on every subject and tell you your decisions are wrong.

3. No Limits

He’ll tread over anyone else to get what he wants. If someone is no use to him, he won’t hesitate to drop them. People only exist for his benefit, and he will never do anyone a good turn unless there is something in it for him.

4. Miaow!

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He’s more catty than a roomful of felines. If he talks about anyone else, it’s in critical terms. This is because no-one can ever match up to the perfection that is Himself. He also likes to do other people down to make himself look even better, and would sell out his own grandmother if it would get him where he wants to go.

5. Girls, Girls, Girls

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According to him, girls always chase him, never the other way round. He has never had to make any effort to get a girlfriend. Yet he never has a nice word to say about any of them – unless it is to compare you unfavorably to them, in which case he will remark how you could lose weight, dye your hair, wear more makeup ‘because then you’d look like Stephanie …’. Yeah, well, if Stephanie was so great, why are they not still together? Could it be she grew tired of his rampant egotism?

6. Storyteller

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He likes to embroider his past and achievements. Maybe he doesn’t quite lie so much as exaggerate, but this is definitely a warning sign that he wants to make himself sound better. For example, he upgrades his degree or claims that he was promoted at a very young age.

7. Priorities

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He expects you to prioritize his needs, but other things are always more important than you. He’ll tell you that he’s got a weekend planned with the lads on your birthday, but you can celebrate another time. If you have a crisis and really need him around, he’s nowhere to be seen, because he simply doesn’t care, yet he’d expect you to drop everything to help him out.

Ever met a total egotist who’s too much in love with himself to ever love anyone else? What are the other signs of a guy like this? Can they ever change?

Top Photo Credit: Van Daniel