Ever wonder what happened to the spark, the ZING that used to be in your relationship? Let’s face it, people fall out of love sometimes. It’s not fun or easy to deal with, but if you find yourself in a position that causes you to wonder what’s going on with your relationship, take a look around. Here are 7 reasons why we fall out of love.
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Resentment is probably the number one cause of falling out of love with someone. If you or your partner is more successful in business, has better friends or even a brighter attitude and personality, one or the other could grow to resent that in your relationship. Unresolved arguments or sharp words can also build up over time causing the person on the receiving end to bury feelings of anger deep inside. Watch out for resentment!
2. Being a Parent
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Now I hope that no one thinks I’m against having children or that I think children cause marital problems. When two people become parents, they may feel as though they have lost their identity. It could be that the burden of raising the children falls more onto one parent than the other. You and your husband may drift apart because you are consumed with being a mother and father. This problem can be fixed easier the earlier on you catch it. Enlist the help of friends or family to babysit a few nights a month so you get some one-on-one time with each other to re-connect.
3. An Offensive or Hurtful Action
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A common reason for falling out of love is because one of you does or did something that is offensive and hurtful and unbearable to the other. Cheating, smoking, drinking, gambling, lying, and purposeful un-employment are some of the top offenders. If you or your partner is doing this and know the other is hurt by it, take a step back. If it’s you, ask yourself which means more to you, the habit, or the person it offends. If it is your partner, ask yourself if it’s worth the pain and stress they put you through to stay with them.
4. One of You Wants Something Different
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Perhaps the two of you no longer share the same goals or beliefs. It’s possible to change over time in your ideas and dreams. Discuss your issues. If you don’t feel the same, it’s time to move on. Staying together when you want completely opposite things will only make things harder on each other and cause more heartache in the long run.
5. Being Mistreated by Your Partner
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If you are stuck in an abusive relationship, it’s no wonder you are falling out of love. Being abused physically or verbally either one will cause good feelings to go away. No one can love a tyrant. Mistreatment isn’t always intentional. At the start of a relationship, guys will say or do anything to get girls to like them and want to be with them. Then after you are married, they often feel as though they don’t have to “win your heart” anymore, so they forget to say or do the sweet things they did before you were married. Or they just get caught up in the rut of life and forget to pay attention to your needs although they still expect you to meet theirs. If you find yourself in this position, talk with your man. Let him know how you feel and work through it.
6. Feeling Rushed or Pressured
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A lot of times people will get married thinking they “love” someone but reality is that they were worried they would never meet anyone else and got desperate. Or maybe well-meaning family pressured and rushed you into it. Or it could even be feelings of jealousy that all your friends were getting married and you were still single. Whatever the case, do try to make sure you don’t fin yourself in this position. And if you do, talk to your spouse and try to find some common level ground to bond on. You can still make it work if you try!
7. It Was Never Love to Begin with
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Think back to what attracted you to your significant other in the first place. Was it looks? Money? Position? Maybe it was just the idea of being in love that you fell in love with! There are many things we can mistake as “love” if we do it based on a feeling rather than a commitment. If your relationship is based on a physical attraction, you can be sure it will fizzle out soon because you need more to go on than good chemistry if you want to last a lifetime together. Re-access the reasons you love this person and do a check-up.
Successful relationships are based on love, tolerance, sharing and forgiveness. At the root of them all there is commitment. Truly get to know your partner before you make a lifelong promise to each other and you will never have to worry about falling out of love!
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