Relationships can be a tightrope walk, much like trying to balance on a diet while surrounded by chocolate chip cookies. Let's face it, whether you're in the honeymoon phase or celebrating your silver anniversary, effective communication with your partner is not always a piece of cake. Having experienced multiple relationships through university and beyond, I’ve had my share of facepalm moments when I've blurted out things I wish I could reel back in. So, folks, gather around – if you're aiming to avoid awkward dinner table silences or outright disasters by June, 2024, sharing what you should never tell your man will save you from a lot of headaches.
Firstly, in any relationship, those typical highs and lows are only natural. However, there are certain phrases and sentences that work like a bulldozer in tearing down the goodwill you’ve built. For instance, telling your partner "You remind me of my ex," is akin to pouring hot sauce into his morning coffee – only without the fun viral prank outcome. As much as we wish for our partners to absorb feedback like a trustworthy sponge, some comparisons will definitely rub them the wrong way. No matter how innocuous it might seem in your head, comparing him to others is like waving a red flag in front of a bull, my friends.
Being mindful of your words doesn’t mean you have to walk on eggshells. Rather, treat it like choosing the right paint color for your living room. Some hues bring out the beauty of your space, while others can make you feel like you’re living inside a neon sign. Likewise, your choice of words is paramount to how well your message is received. Making offhand remarks about "how much weight he's gained" is a prime example of a conversational brick wall. If well-intentioned sarcasm is your communication style, it's always better to keep certain thoughts to yourself to avoid any unintended hurtful impacts.
Now, let’s dip into the depths of commitment for a minute. Bringing up touchy subjects can feel like navigating a minefield. We've all been in scenarios where emotional intelligence could’ve saved the day, but alas, hindsight is 20/20. Venturing into territory about his career choices or criticizing his hobbies without a legitimate reason is usually a one-way ticket to argument town. It’s the finer details and respect for each other's passions that keep the wheels of romance turning smoothly. After all, you wouldn’t want him to dismiss your love for knitting or binge-watching rom-coms, right?
If you're looking to steer clear of common pitfalls and maintain that sparkling connection, avoiding these conversational landmines is essential. Trust me, mastering few mindful communication hacks goes a long way – your future self, come June, 2024, will certainly thank you for it.
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1. That You Dislike His Mother ...
Even if he is currently angry at his Mom, it’s never a good idea to get involved, as they will definitely make up. Comfort him, and listen to him, but keep your opinions to yourself. His Mom is important to him, so knowing you don’t like her could undermine your whole relationship.
2. Never Tell Him His Friends Made a Pass at You ...
He’ll have to confront them, or things will be awkward, and if the friend swears he didn’t it could cause even more problems. Politely decline and keep quiet, unless he becomes a repeat offender.
3. Been Unfaithful in the past?
Keep it to yourself, or you’ll worry him. If he believes you’ve done it before, male friends and nights out will be even more risky, and he’ll automatically trust you less. Learn your lesson, and keep quiet.
***
Sharing past indiscretions, especially about infidelity, can install lasting insecurities in your partner's mind. Although honesty is often the best policy, revealing your infidelity might implant a seed of doubt that could sprout into unwarranted jealousy or suspicion in the future. It's crucial to reflect on your mistakes privately and commit to fidelity moving forward. While some may argue for full disclosure, in a relationship, sometimes the unspoken chapters of your history are best left closed if they serve no constructive purpose in your current chapter together.
4. Don't Tell Him That Your Best Friend is Cheating ...
He’ll start to presume that you discuss tactics, or that you’re cheating too. Act like infidelity is equal with murder, and you’ll cause a lot less suspicion.
If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.
5. Don’t Criticise His Body ...
He might not look as young as he used too, but neither do you, and if he is still making an effort then you’re doing well.
6. Believe in Him ...
When everyone else is doubting him, you have to be the one person who actually believes that he will achieve his dreams, and outperform everybody else..
7. And if You Don’t, Pretend You do ...
This will at least give him the confidence and drive to work harder, so that he doesn’t let you down.
***
Continuing with the guise of certainty can have surprising effects. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy—belief inspires action. By projecting a sense of belief, even when you’re filled with doubts, you light a spark of ambition and purpose in him. It's about providing a cushion of positivity that can buffer against the hard knocks of reality. So, the next time he's unsure, your feigned confidence could be the nudge he needs to overcome his hesitations and stride forward towards achieving his goals. Remember, a little white lie in support of his potential isn't deception; it's encouragement in disguise.
8. Don’t Threaten to Leave ...
He’ll start to feel that you are just waiting for an excuse, so keep this for times that you really are thinking of leaving, or it’ll stop having any effect.
9. Don’t Let That Earning More than Him Bother You ...
Or it’ll bother him ten times more. He will already be struggling to handle this, so knowing that you think it makes him less of a man too will push him over the edge. Keep any bitchy comments in your head, and if you have to talk about it, confide in a trusted friend.
10. Don’t Confess to Crushes ...
You’d be upset if he constantly pointed out other people he’d love to get into bed, so don’t do it to him. That way he won’t get jealous, and you’ll be free to enjoy your crush without feeling guilty or upsetting him.
11. Never Tell Your Man How Many People You’ve Slept with ...
Keep the number small, but make sure you remember it. Sleep with too many and you’ll no doubt go down in his opinion, too little and he’ll know you're lying. Pick a small number and flatter his ego.
So edit the truth a little, and keep him, and your relationship happy.
Have you ever told a boyfriend something you shouldn’t, or do you have any advice for others who have? Share it with me!
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Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge
starizsharing
2014-05-30T12:06:10.372Z
tell the truth in a way they will accept it positively without hurting them and our relationship, never ever make it a way to hell the relationship..
Meream
2009-05-11T16:10:53.000Z
Love that Rose. Great advice.
mark
2014-07-08T03:14:56.253Z
If you're with a guy that can't respect you and see past these things I suggest you find a new guy. How could you keep any of these things from a person who is basically you? My boyfriend is the closest person I have ever been to. I hope you're all able to fund peace. God have mercy on you liars
Melissa
2009-09-16T13:40:49.000Z
I totally agree with THATGUY... Why would you want to start your relationship off as a lie? Obviously your guy has already taking a liking to you and if he was to ask you something and then you lied about it and later on down the road he finds out. He will start to wonder weather or not everything you have told him is a lie, even if its the smallest thing! I believe that a guy will have more respect for you if your honest with him right from the beginning. Think about being in their shoes. If you were to ask him one of these questions and then find out he lied to you about it, You all know that you'd be upset about it. Common. Best thing to do is always tell the truth! :)
Dianna
2014-05-20T23:48:32.804Z
i constantly being my ex (father of my son) and i feel like it bothers him but he does the too? Is it a way of getting back At me. Well his ex wife, so this was very useful.
Jasmine
2014-07-08T05:49:59.881Z
I lied to my BF about the amount of men I have been with and he got super mad at me and told me that I should have just told him the truth from the beginning (it wasn't a crazy number) I can agree with most but it pays to be honest . don't judge each other off the past relations
Skye
2014-07-30T10:16:12.395Z
Inaccurate article. But I think it also depends on who you're with and what he's like.
sxc
2009-06-17T08:17:15.000Z
I have ended my 4 yrs relationship because my ex was a real jerk towards me adn always treating me bad most of da time. he called a few times after i end it and now he hasnt called at all. as much as i wanted things to end and i know for a fact im better of without him but at da same time i miss him and regret doing it. I want to remain strong bcoz i know if i get bak with him he knows for fact he can get away with treating me bad. i want to be strong. wat shall i do? plz help!!!
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Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge
2014-05-30T12:06:10.372Z
2009-05-11T16:10:53.000Z
2014-07-08T03:14:56.253Z
2009-09-16T13:40:49.000Z
2014-05-20T23:48:32.804Z
2014-07-08T05:49:59.881Z
2014-07-30T10:16:12.395Z
2009-06-17T08:17:15.000Z