10 'Why Are They Famous?' Celebrities ...

1. Paris Hilton

I almost like Paris. She seems sweet but dim. Unfortunately, not content with being filthy rich, Paris continues to try careers for which she is utterly unsuited, such as acting.

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2. Kim Kardashian

She’s rich, has a funny foreign name, and is in a reality show. Has sisters named Khloe and Kourtney. This is all that I can discern about this woman. Does not appear to actually do anything, except get her photo constantly in the papers.

Photo Credit: Kardashian1

3. Jordan/Katie Price

This photo encapsulates the tackiness that is ‘glamor model’ Katie Price. It’s like Dr Frankenstein tried to create a drag queen. Fake boobs, fake hair, fake tan, fake lashes … and enough sequins to clothe an entire chorus line. This monstrous creation feeds off publicity and reality shows. Somebody make it stop.

Photo Credit: ian_fromblighty

4. Kerry Katona

What is it about the initials KK? Does it mean in numerology that you are destined to become famous for no reason whatsoever? This particular z-lister was in a minor girl band for about 5 minutes, married a boy band singer, had a couple of kids, divorced, married a sponging loser, had a couple more kids, spent a fortune, went bankrupt … and treated us to all this via reality shows. Enough already.

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5. All ‘supermodels’

Why are glorified clothes horses deemed to be celebrities? They walk up and down a catwalk – if you can call that weird high step they do walking. Actually it looks more like dressage to me (the clothes horse analogy was obviously a good one). They pout for photos. Most aren’t even that goodlooking, Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss in particular. Moss snorts coke and Campbell throws phones. Great basis for fame.

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6. Footballers’ Wives (or the Wives of Any Sports Stars)

Known in the UK as WAGS (wives and girlfriends). Have achieved nothing in their own right, but still get media coverage because of who they married.

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7. The Geldof Girls

Famous because their dad was famous (and what’s he been doing in the last 25 years?), and for having spectacularly silly names (Peaches Honeyblossom and Pixie). Perhaps their misbehavior is retaliation at their parents.

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8. Reality Show Contestants

These take the sought-after route to instant fame. Fortunately, most disappear after their initial attempt to make something out of nothing, but a significant number hang around like an incurable disease.

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9. Perez Hilton

Oh, the irony. Becomes famous for blogging about celebrities. Perhaps encapsulates the curse of the modern age – that anyone with a laptop and an Internet connection has access to a global audience.

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10. Cheryl Cole

Deserves a special mention for falling into so many categories. Won a place in a ‘band’ as part of a reality show (strike one). Married a footballer and exploited his name and infidelities to get more press coverage (strike two). Launched a solo career even though she cannot sing (strike three) and ‘judges’ a reality show (strike four … what’s the penalty?) and does nothing but flick her extensions and look pretty. If you are in the US, this talentless ‘singer’ is attempting to break America. Be warned.

Photo Credit: Dee Spally

Who in your opinion stretches the definition of the word celebrity? Is there anyone who makes you despair every time you see their face, and shout ‘but what have they DONE?’

Top Photo Credit: ian_fromblighty