It’s not just celebrities that pick silly names for their children. There is a very famous poem called ‘This be the verse’, about how parents mess up their children’s lives. Now, some might argue that it is a parents job to be as embarrassing as possible, but there is no surer way to traumatise your child than to give them a stupid name. Here are some prime examples of children who are going to need more therapy than most.
I was once visiting friends when someone they knew dropped round with their daughter. Now, I know flower names like Lily are popular, but how difficult was it to keep a straight face when they called to her ‘Fuchsia! Fuchsia!’
This is a beaut. Siblings called Blue Parsley & River Wind. Which is the girl and which is the boy? Shall we have a poll and see how many people get it right?
The desire to be different is understandable, especially if you were one of 5 Rebeccas or Sams in your class at school. Still, there’s different, and there’s … Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. Yes, two New Zealanders were responsible for saddling their daughter with this collection of names. Young Talula had to go to court to get it changed, after years of telling her schoolmates that she was named K.
If you name your children JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell and Adolf Hitler Campbell, then it’s a fair bet that you’re not exactly a fully paid-up member of the League of Tolerance. Mr and Mrs Campbell were most offended when a bakery refused to make a personalised cake for young Adolf’s birthday. Hard to see why …
Some names are perfectly normal … too normal. So, in an attempt to be different, the parents alter the spelling, thus dooming their child to a life of sighing and spelling their name out. Fee-Bee, Kam’ron, Ash-le Nij-el … people, you are CRAZY.
It seems the vogue for weird names has spread all the way to China. One couple wanted to name their son @. Yes, @. That’s a strange choice given China’s one-child policy. No chance to do better next time. But then, no chance to give @ a little sister named & either. Phew.
So you decide to pick a chav name (if you’re British), or trailer trash (if you’re American). This is not enough though. No, you have to go one step further and misspell a name that was bad to begin with. Welcome to the world, Tekilla, Destyni, Shardonay … sisters in humiliation.
Is there any parent in the world so cruel as to call their daughter Seksi? According to one forum, oh yes there is … The guilty party cannot possibly claim ignorance on the matter, so one can only assume that they were either deluding themselves that they were being witty, out of their mind of illegal substances, or setting their daughter up for a career as a porn star …
And in the accidentally stupid category, we have the parents who think they are choosing a nice name. However, they fail to test out how the name sounds and looks together with their surname. Thus you get Richard Stiff, Ima Boy, Ima Hore, Jenna Tulls …
The prize for Not Thinking Before Naming Baby must surely go to Mr and Mrs Peacock, who decided to name their newborn son … Drew. Sounds ordinary enough, I hear you say. Well, put it together with the surname, and say it fast several times …
Do you know anyone with an embarrassing or silly name? Have you wanted to shoot your friends for what they’ve called their children, or sniggered in the supermarket at some of the names you’ve heard called?
Top Photo Credit: Nastya C.