She was shocked, and wanted to know how on earth I stayed friends with so many of my exes. Here are some tips:
Don’t cheat or lie or steal. If the relationship ends well, it’s more likely you’ll be able to remain friends.
If he ends the relationship badly, resist the temptation to badmouth him, especially to his friends, or to your mutual friends. Don’t badmouth his new girlfriends, either.
It may not be easy to see each other or spend time together right after the relationship ends. Give it some time.
If you have a lot of friends in common, don’t make them decide who was right and who was wrong. It will just make everyone uncomfortable, including you.
To become or stay friends, you have to let go of the past. It won’t work if the only reason you want to stay friends is so you can maybe get back together later.
It will be easier to stay friends if you have someone, or something, new in your life. And having a sense of humor about it will help.
When you do start spending time together again, don’t reminisce about “old times” when you used to date. He’ll be uncomfortable, especially if he’s dating someone new.
If you have children together, there’s no better reason than them to try and stay friends. They’ll sense the tension and it will make their lives hell. That’s a great motivation.
If one of you is uncomfortable on certain topics or around certain people, know when to leave.
If you’re not dating, you shouldn’t be sleeping together anymore. It will just muddle everyone’s perspective and feelings.
Trust me, by following these rules, you’ll be able to stay friends with most of the guys you date, even if it ends with hurt.
Do you have any tips or stories to share? How do you stay friends with an ex?
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