Not every guy is bad news, but as all of you ladies reading probably know, you do sometimes run across a guy that is just wrong for you. That doesn't mean that he's an awful person, just that he's really not the right choice for you at the time. Some guys are players – and so are some girls. It happens. But it can be heartbreaking and painful, and it's always better to avoid a scene like that, so here are 10 warning signs that a guy may be bad news.
1. Vague Labels
I know not every girl is interested in having a label, but sometimes you need to know where you stand. If a guy is not willing to say whether you're a girlfriend or just a friend with benefits or simply someone he's interested in casually dating, you might want to step back and look for someone else. You might be a booty call, or you might just be trying to get with a guy who is not yet ready for a relationship, but isn't willing to actually say so.
2. High Expectations
Only you know what you're comfortable doing on a first, second, or third date, and so on. If you are interested in something casual, that is also cool. If, however, you are looking for something a bit more serious, then you need to pay attention to a guy's intentions. If he seems to fully expect that you're going to sleep with him right away, without even finishing the date, it's probable that he's not really interested in getting to know you – beyond what kind of panties you're wearing.
3. Heavy Hinter
Even if a guy is not looking for the same things you are, you have to respect honesty – and you have to take it seriously. Many guys are more than willing to be upfront about the fact that they really aren't looking for a serious relationship. If the guy you're dating says that he's not really the kind of guy who's ready to be your boyfriend right now, listen. Don't try to change him, don't think you can fix it – that's a good way to get hurt.
4. Your Best Friend's Boy
This one really goes without saying. If a guy is dating one of your friends, or a friend of a friend, or a coworker, or anyone you know, but at the same time keeps trying to tell you he's in love with you, do the grownup equivalent of yelling “STRANGER DANGER” and run away. He's not in love with you, I promise. That only happens in romantic comedies. In real life, the statistics are like 1 in 1 million or something.
5. The Serial Texter
I know that it's a new world, and we all communicate via text messages, Facebook, twitter, email, and so on. That's cool – some of the time. But if you're in a relationship with someone, or even trying to be in a relationship with someone, texting won't cut the mustard all the time. If your guy seems to have a phone phobia and relegates all communications to texts and Facebook messages, you have to wonder what else he's not willing to spend time doing.
6. The Color of Money
Now I ain't saying you're a gold digger – but. Even though you're not looking to meld your bank account with his right away, you need to pay attention to how he handles his finances, especially if you think the two of you might get serious. If he's got tons of credit card debt or overdrafts on his account every pay period, that's a total red flag.
7. When the past Isn't the past
You can't judge people by their pasts – normally. However, there are always warning signs to watch out for when you're in a new relationship. If a guy has never had a long term relationship, that can be bad news – but it's all about context. Ditto if you find out he's never told any of his exes he loved them. Context is everything, but these things can be worth looking into more deeply.
8. A Demanding Man
A guy who tries to control every aspect of your relationship can be bad news. If you prefer that kind of guy, then you're good. If not, then pay attention to the plans he makes. If it seems like he's not interested in doing things that are mutually convenient, but are convenient only for him, you might want to tell him to take a hike, or at least confront him about the issue. It all depends on whether you think the problem will be fixable.
9. Subtext Signals
You know how, when someone prefaces a sentence with a phrase like, “I'm not going to lie” or “To be honest,” the odds are high that you're about to hear some serious BS? Well, if a guy is constantly trying to “reassure” you that he totally doesn't judge and he doesn't criticize and he's not self righteous at all, then the odds are pretty high that well, actually, yeah, he does all those things.
10. Multiple Personalities
This last tip involves you. If your friends and family members keep trying to let you know that they feel like you have changed a lot since meeting this guy, your first instinct might be to get angry. That's normal, but you should also consider what they're saying afterward. If the people who know you best see negative changes in you, then you really need to think about whether or not this guy is a good match for you. Your friends don't want you to be unhappy, they're not jealous or trying to control you. They're trying to help you, and even though it's hard to remember that at first, you'll likely be really glad you listened.
Like I said, this absolutely does not apply to every guy. That's crazy. There are millions of really amazing men out there. These signals don't apply to all women either, because they won't be issues for every single woman out there. So, given that, what do you consider a warning sign with a guy? What puts up your guard?
Top Photo Credit: lefty7448