It used to be that if you were forty and single, you were an Old Maid. Not anymore, girl! Now if you’re single and forty, that means you’re picky, just like you should be! But maybe you’ve recently gone through a divorce and aren’t sure how to get back into dating. No problem! Here are my rules for dating in your forties.
1. Focus on the Positive
Photo Credit: neloqua
Maybe you’re not as slender as you were when you were eighteen, or you have a few laugh lines. So what? You have gorgeous womanly curves, and your blue eyes still shine when you laugh. Accentuate the things you know still look great, and quit worrying about the other things.
2. Think about What You Want
Photo Credit: moonjazz
Are you looking for a long-term, companionable relationship with Mr. Right, or just a casual date that will attend theater shows and concerts with you? Decide ahead of time what you might want, and try to stick to your guns when Mr. Right Now comes knocking.
3. Go a Little Older, and a Little Younger
Photo Credit: Stephen Nelson Photography
Just because you’re 43 doesn’t mean you can’t date a man who’s 37. This is the age of the cougar, the more experienced older woman datingyounger men! If you’re not comfortable with that, then try someone your own age, or maybe just a little older.
4. Dress Your Age (not Older or Too Young)
Photo Credit: kirstyfish
Let’s be honest. Those hot pants may look good on your grand-daughter, but they’re not going to flatter you. And you’re not eighty, so lose the cardigans and readers! Dress your own age, not too young, and certainly not too old!
5. Be Honest
Photo Credit: Marie Kelleher
This is a good rule of thumb in any situation, BE HONEST! Be honest about who you are, what you like and dislike, and what you have experienced in life. If you’re not honest, then you may end up regretting it later, when you, the woman who is afraid of heights, ends up on a sky-diving date.
6. Be Yourself!
Photo Credit: Emily Kay Photography
This rule goes hand-in-hand with “be honest.” Don’t ever try to be anything more, or anything less, than who you are ...which is wonderful! No-one knows how to be you better than you do, and it’s a sure bet that you won’t be any good at being someone else.
7. Be Bold
Photo Credit: neloqua
Times have changed! You don’t have to sit at home and wait for the phone to ring. You can pick up the phone and call him! Or, if things haven’t progressed past the friendly flirting at the coffee shop while you both grab a latte, it’s okay to make the first move and ask him out!
8. Try Something New
Photo Credit: K Kay
Now is the time to try all of the things you wanted to do before, but never have done YET. If there’s a hobby or sport that you are interested in, try it! And see who you might meet along the way…
9. Ask for Help
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You might be a little intimidated by all of the dating possibilities out there, online dating, newspaper ads, speed dating? Enlist the aid of a friend or family member, and make a night of it! Also, try networking to see if anyone you know happens to know any attractive, available bachelors… hmm…
10. Don’t Settle!
Photo Credit: veggefatale
If you’re dating a man just because you’d rather not be alone, don’t kid yourself — he may be feeling the same way! Why waste your time with someone you’re less than happy with? Don’t settle! If you’re not perfectly happy, or at least greatly content, move on!
Now that you’ve read my rules, keep them in mind when you’re at that coffee shop making eyes at that gorgeous man who always orders his lattes tall and who does the New York Times crossword in pen! Do you have any other tips or rules for dating in your forties? Let me know!
Top Photo Credit: Diyana Kamaruza