We’ve all had the thoughts, what if? What would it be like to breath underwater? Two fly? To climb trees with the greatest of ease or walk without legs, up walls? These are all animals that exhibit some crazy everyday abilities that are basically unimaginable to all of us brainy bipeds.
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You get to not only get to be teeny tiny, but also super fast. This is basically the Flash of animals. I doubt even Cheetahs are faster than these little dive-bombers. Think about it, you get to whip around super fast all day from porch to porch and drink red Kool-Aid. I’m sold.
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This is the largest mammal on the planet, it can dive to depths we can’t even imagine, and it sings like something out of some creepy Spielbergien alien movie. On top of all that awesome stuff you get to have epic sea battles with obsessed bearded sea captains and mythical beasts like the giant squid. This is the most under appreciated animal on the planet, for sure.
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You can grow up to seven feet tall, you get to hop around all the time, a backpack is built into your stomach, and you get to live in Australia. It doesn’t get much sweeter than that. Plus, if you ever got bored of hopping around the outback you could always find work as a boxer. Sounds like the easy life to me.
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You can climb walls, do unspeakable things with your eyes, and you can make millions by helping people save money on their car insurance. You have to be teeny tiny, but with all that money tailor made suits can’t be hard to come by. Obviously gecko’s are way cooler than they get credit for.
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How crazy would it be feel to slither around without the need for legs? I can’t even imagine. Snakes also only have to eat once every few days and I bet it feels just as cool to swim underwater as a snake as it would to slither up a tree. The only down side is that if people see you, they would probably kill you, but you know what they say, “Mo’ money, mo’ problems.”
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Bar none, this is the scariest thing on the planet. That is a fact. Every single time you’ve ever entered the ocean you’ve looked for fins, and you know it. You can’t buy that sort of power. Plus, sharks are always moving, even when they’re sleeping. Also, save for a school of dolphins or guys who need a bigger boat, no one can mess with you. Move over Ariel’s dad, this is the real king of the ocean.
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Cat’s have the best lives ever. All they do is lay around the house all day in the sun and nap. If they feel like getting some attention they mosey on over, start their purring engine, and then you basically give them anything they want. They have nine lives, always land on their feet, and in the real world, Jerry never outsmarts Tom.
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Dog’s have it just about as easy as cats, the only reason I put them ahead is because most of them seem to enjoy life so much. They are the most easily amused things on the planet. They’re never happier than when you throw random objects just so that they can bring them back to you. Rinse and repeat for hours. I wish I could be that easily amused.
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There are a million kinds of monkeys, and you can pick your own poison, but I’m definitely going with the chimpanzee. You can climb trees like it’s nobody’s business, be super scary, or super cute, depending on your mood, and you can always find work acting in kid’s movies. In every zoo that I’ve ever been to chimps have, by far, the best enclosure. They get treated like animal A-listers for a reason, people.
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I’m not choosing the eagle for the patriotic aspect; I’m choosing them because they get the best of basically every world. Think about it, people get super excited when they see them, they can fly, they have super powered sight, and you go to federal prison for so much as possessing one of their feathers. It’s literally against the law to mess with eagles. Case in point, eagles win.
There are zillions of choices in the animal kingdom. What’s yours?
Top Photo Credit: Sweet-Rainb0w
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