7 Movies I Wish I'd Never Seen ...

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I love Sandra Bullock so much, so I never listen when I hear that one of her movies wasn’t that great. I mean, Hope Floats doesn’t have a fantastic rating or anything, but adore that movie — although part of that is because of Harry Connick, Jr. Still, I ignored everything I heard about this movie … and for once I should have listened. It was so flat, it was just a huge downer — and normally I love corny movies. But this one, it was like creamed corn, it just fell short.

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I don’t want to go into all the gory details, but suffice it to say that this movie caused me to avoid spaghetti like the plague for at least three years. Oh, all right, all right, I’ll give you a hint. Let’s just say that, at one point in the movie, a vampire gets his stomach slashed open and something that resembled the suspicious spaghetti and meat sauce served in my school’s cafeteria started following out of the gash in a cascade. Oh, ugh…

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Actually, I love this movie. I love Drew Barrymore, I love Sara Gilbert, and I used to be quite fond of Tom Skerritt as well. But not so much anymore. His character in this movie creeped me out a lot, so he’s guilty by association. I can’t even watch him in Steel Magnolias without wondering if he’d succumb to having an affair with one of Shelby’s friends or something.

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I am a huge Batman fan. I will passionately argue with anyone who says that Batman Forever really did suck, because at the time I was completely in love with Val Kilmer, that Seal song, and the Riddler’s insignia, plus I adore Tommy Lee Jones (and still think he did Two Face better than Aaron Eckhart). But I have no excuse for Batman & Robin. George Clooney is a great actor, but Batman he is not. Not even the adorable Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl or Uma Thurman looking like an exotic, lush little vine as Poison Ivy could redeem this movie for me.

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As it happens, I think this is a great movie as well, but part of me still wishes I hadn’t seen it, because I can’t watch Leonardo DiCaprio now without picturing him as Arnie. I think he’s a great actor, too, and he was actually fantastic in this, but still, every time I see the guy, Arnie pops up in my mind doing his spaz-hands (as opposed to jazz-hands) routine, screaming at his brother. “What’s wrong, Gilbert, what’s wrong?!”

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This is probably a controversial choice (but not as much as number 7), but I have to be honest here. I wasn’t a huge fan of the book and the changes in the movie bothered me even more. It’s weird, the acting was great and I found much of the plot touching, but at the same time, it rubbed me entirely the wrong way.

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Don’t shoot me! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t get into it. My grudge with K-Stew is part of it, but by no means is that all. With both the books and the movies, I’m far more into peripheral characters than I am the main protagonists, and I just do not like the way Stephenie Meyer writes. At all. She is also my nemesis.

Love it or hate it, that’s my list. I can’t un-see these films! We all suffer from a wish to bleach our brains, so tell me: what movies do you wish you could take back?

Top Photo Credit: BrettMorrison