Happy to report, Iāve been fairly successful when it comesto detecting men who have cheating or substance abuse problems.
And yetā¦mean-spirited men have been able to fly right under myradar, undetectable until itās almost too late.
First of all, Iām a sucker for Mr. Dry Wit. So sexy. The problem is, wittiness, and awicked sense of humor in general, can allow some men to cloak things likeanger, hostility, and a mean streak a mile wide.
Next thereās The Backbone Factor. We say we want a nice man,but letās be honest here: weāll lose respect for the guy if he seems even a little spineless, right?
So unfortunately, I -- and millions ofother women -- have occasionally mistaken ruthlessness in a man for desirable masculinestrength.
Last but not least, thereās The Strong Woman Curse. If, likeme, you take (too muchā¦) pride in being strong, then youāre more likely toconvince yourself that you should be able to āhandle itā when a man with an undersizedheart plays rough.
And by playing rough, Iām referring to things like:
ā¢ making you the butt of his jokesā¢ getting a kick out of being mean to youā¢ complete and utter insensitivity to your feelingsā¢ leaving you dangling when youāre feeling insecure ā¢ withholding compliments from you, just because he can
Well, at some point I got fed up with āhandling it."
There areother places in my life where I need to be strong, even tough at times. Butin a relationship, I now have to have the freedom to relax and beā¦
ā¦soft.
Instead of feeling all the time like I have to make my protective shell harder.
That's why there's nothing more appealing to me in a man (aside from a great sense of humor) than his big, throbbing.......heart.
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How hard is your protective shell?