All Women's Talk

Fool for Love Taking Risks at the Right Time for the Right Reasons

By Annie

There are cautious women out there, holding back in love, not taking emotional risks -- even for a manwho might be worth it.

But mainly, the ones who complain to me the loudest are current members of the ScrewDignity - I Want Him Now Club. These gals are ready-and-willing to take emotional risks for undeserving men everywhere. And you know what? This strategy isn't working out so great for them.

The years I belonged to the club, it didn't work out so great for me, either.

That’s why, in my last post (here), I urged you to hold on to your dignity during the early stages of dating. It's all about getting to know a man as long as possible before choosing to share your precious You-ness with him.

If you don’t relate to my use of the word, “dignity,” thinkof it from a practical angle: it’s so much easier to speed things up with aman than it is to slow things down again.

You KNOW it's true!

And, whether you’re revealing to him yourbody, your feelings for him, or intimate details about yourself, trust me -- you’re moving things along more quickly.

In my work with women, and in taking a hard look at my own history, I've found that we're most likely to prematurely speed things up with a new man we think we want as a boyfriend when we're motivated by any of the following:
• confusion • self-doubt • desperation
Whereas it's wisest to put yourself out there with an interesting new guy, and take emotional risks, only when you're feeling at least pretty strong overall in your life.

And calm enough to step back occasionally for a long, realistic look at him.

Other reasons to consider being brave and foolish for the possibility of love include:
• meeting a shy guy more than halfway in order to get the momentum going• making your interest clear to a wonderful guy who mistakenly thinks that you're not available to him
And...

• revealing to your good friend that you've developed romantic feelings for him, and wonder if he could be feeling the same

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On the continuum from taking no risks at all with men, to being a card-carrying member of the Screw Dignity - I Want Him Now Club, where would you say you're spending most of your time?

And how is that working out for you?

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