Chris Rock - one of the funniest men alive - isn’t funny at all on a 31-minute tape of a phone call he had in August 2001 with disgraced private eye Anthony Pellicano, who was helping the comic fight a bogus rape charge.
“Once you’re accused of rape, you’re just [bleep]ed, you know?” a stressed-out Rock tells the detective.
An angry Pellicano replies: “That’s why I want to blacken this girl up, totally. I want to make her out to be a lying, scumbag, manipulative [bleep]sucker . . . stupid [bleep].”
Rock agrees, telling Pellicano, “I’m [bleep]ed. I’m better getting caught with needles in my arm, way better, needles, with pictures. There’s Chris Rock shooting heroin - much better blow to the career.”
The Huffington Post obtained the recording and planned to put all 31 minutes on its Web site last night. The Web site said prosecutors plan to call Rock as a witness in Pellicano’s trial in Los Angeles on charges of illegal wiretapping.
Rock was distraught because Monica Zsibrita, who had a one-night stand with Rock at the Beverly Hills Hotel in 1998, was suing him three years later, claiming he had raped her and fathered her child.
Zsibrita claimed that she saved Rock’s semen on a tissue she stored in her freezer and that she’d prove Rock fathered her child.
But she later dropped her suit.
Rock was separated from his wife, Malaak, at the time of the fling. (Despite divorce filings last year, which were subsequently dropped, they are still together.)
During the call, Pellicano reads Zsbrita’s police report to Rock and tells him her allegations aren’t taken seriously by the cops.
Rock says, “I know the night we went to the Ivy she had on white pants. I only noticed cause my wife’s real classy and subdued and I’m out with a girl with big [breast]s and white pants.”
Pellicano then reads to Rock a portion of the report that said Zsbrita collected his semen in a Kleenex and put it in her pocket.
Rock responds, “I’ve been so set up.”
“Does your old lady know what’s going on?” Pellicano asks.
Rock: “No. She thinks it’s over. Put it that way: She knows of it.”