8 Reasons to Reconcile with Relatives ...

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It’s better to be on good terms with someone, as it creates a positive atmosphere, especially when you meet at family gatherings. Even if you’re never going to be best friends, it’s nicer to get on with someone when you do meet.

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One thing that is certain is that family members won’t be around forever, especially older ones. Imagine how it would feel if they died and you never had the chance to smooth things over with them? It’s worth being amicable and avoiding regrets when they’re gone.

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If you fell out over something, was it really worth the argument? Or was it a silly squabble that got out of hand? Think about the origins of the problem, and whether it’s still relevant. You might realise that you can’t even remember what the reason for arguing was, or that it just doesn’t matter any more.

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People can be so determined to be ‘right’ that they refuse to recognise their part in a falling out. Well, nobody’s perfect! We all make mistakes, and it’s very easy to refuse to back down for fear of looking weak. However, saying sorry shows that you’re not afraid to admit any responsibility or let bygones be bygones.

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At a completely unscientific guess, I’d say that at least 50% of arguments are over misunderstandings. People being complicated, we often don’t realise how what we say or do will be interpreted, and we are all capable of misinterpreting events and words.

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The interfering mother-in-law is a comedy cliché, but I’ve known many who deliberately fostered problems in the relationship of their son or daughter (not mine, who was lovely). And it’s not just mothers – both parents, jealous siblings, or friends can cause problems.

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Okay, maybe you feel that you have a legitimate grievance, but sometimes it’s worth letting go of that and making a gesture to mend a family rift. This can be beneficial in two respects: firstly, regaining a positive relationship with relatives, secondly, you may feel better for letting go of the past.

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When a family relationship has been broken, someone has to be brave enough to make the first move. For all you know, the other person might be equally keen to patch things up, but be afraid of rejection. So give it a go – it might work out!

I dare say that there isn’t one of us who hasn’t experienced family quarrels at some point. Have you ever managed to mend a serious rift? Does it upset you if two family members don’t speak? Are you stuck in the middle trying not to take sides?

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