Sex is an important part of most adult relationships, but more and more couples are admitted to having less than ever. From hectic work lives to numerous family commitments, there is so much else demanding your time that you’d be completely in your right to be far too tired. Add in illnesses and common problems such as stress and headaches, and it’s a wonder anyone gets any alone time at all. There are ways to get around these passionkillers, though, and here are my tips...
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If you’ve got back pain, you probably won’t be in the mood. However, exercise can help to relieve the symptoms, and you don’t have to be in pain. If the pain is in your lower back, try lying on your stomach with a pillow under your chest, or try straddling him and controlling the pace yourself so you can keep it pain-free. The muscles will benefit from a gentle workout, you’ll both feel much closer and you’ll sleep much better too!
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If you just can’t sleep, chances are you will be feeling too tired and fed up to want to do anything. Sex can actually help you to relax, though, and drift off to sleep smiling! Tackle the problem head on by designating your bed a sex or sleep zone, and not doing anything else there. If you can’t sleep, get busy. If you aren’t getting busy, go to sleep. Your mind will soon make the link, and you’ll find you think of the bed as a place of relaxation and slumber, rather than frustration and annoyance.
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A lot of women find that the menopause doesn’t completely kill their sex drive, but makes it a lot harder to enjoy sex. The lower amount of oestrogen in your system could lead to dryness, but using a high quality lubricant will counter this. Pelvic floor exercises and regular sex will keep your vaginal muscles healthy and flexible, too.
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Being under stress will make your testosterone levels drop, which will kill your sex life. Which then becomes another stress....do you see the pattern? Stop it in its tracks by keeping a healthy, balanced diet, and regular exercising, which will help to keep your mood high. Taking up a stress relieving activity such as meditation or yoga will help you to fight stress, too. If you still can’t break the stress, try sex early in the morning, before you are stressed by the day. It might mean getting up a little bit earlier, but you’ll feel much better for it!
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If you suffer from arthritis, you might find sex impossible, especially if your back and hips are affected. Its all about picking your positions carefully, though, and seeing which ones work best for you. Try incorporating treatment into your together-time....massages with muscle rubs and hot showers or baths together are both erotic ways to soothe yourself, and enjoy each other.
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If you suffer from bad asthma, then the wheezing, coughing and breathing difficulties could be a big barrier between you and sex. Different positions could make a big difference, as positions such as missionary put a great deal of pressure on the chest, and taking a few puffs of your inhaler before hand could make a great difference too. If not, try talking to your GP, who will be able to prescribe other medication to help ease your symptoms.
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61% of women find that sex helps to relieve their headaches, so it’s time to find a different excuse! Sex releases oxytocin, which makes your feel good hormones surge. This helps you to relax more, and helps your headache to dissolve away. Try having a long drink and a nap if necessary, or having a lie down in the dark. Sex as a headache cure? It’s probably the best one ever!
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If you suffer from eczema, you might feel too self conscious to be physical, or in too much discomfort. It doesn’t have too, though...my sister suffered horribly for a good few years before she visited her doctor, who prescribed her medication and gave her a list of foods to avoid. Tell your partner where it is sorest, and they can avoid the area, and chances are they won’t notice how it looks. Spoil yourself with a new haircut or new clothes to boost your confidence, and try to forget the condition.
These passionkillers can sometimes feel like they completely control your life, and prevent any hope of a satisfying sex life. They don’t have too, though, and with a little effort they can be controlled and even improved! Have you got a condition that is a real mood killer, or a tip on handling any of these? Please let me know!
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