Ending a friendship is not to be taken lightly girls, but sometimes there’s someone in our lives that just causes us pain. To begin with, it’s important that when you take the step to terminate a relationship, you’re absolutely certain that it’s what you want: you’ve identified the ‘friend’ as the cause of profound problems and you’re sure these are more damaging to you that the continued friendship is beneficial. If this is the case, ladies, I’ve put together a list of 7 steps to help you say good-bye to a toxic relationship without loosing your cool and behaving badly.
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Identify Your Reasons
It sounds odd girls, but ending a friendship should not be an emotional undertaking. You need to be collected, reasonable and, most important of all, prepared. Make sure you’ve identified exactly what the problem is, and that you can explain it in words the other person will understand. Remember, it’s possible your would-be ‘friend’ has no idea there’s even a problem so you may really have to break things down.
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Be Certain
You should never end a friendship over a petty fight or a simple misunderstanding. Give yourself some time to mull matters over: your ‘friend’ might have done something that seems unforgivable now, but in a week or so, you will have gained a little perspective and realised the situation is actually reconcilable.
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The Right Setting
This one’s actually pretty important, girls. You need to find a setting that’s neutral with no charged associations that might make you emotional – don’t pick the park you and your friend use to play in as kids, for example – and the place needs to be relatively private as well. In all likelihood, ladies, there’s going to be a scene, and when it arrives, you don’t want a whole bunch of spectators.
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Talk Straight
Don’t beat about the bush when she arrives. Get straight onto the point and try to be as honest as possible. Keep your voice neutral; don’t give way to anger or tears. You need to appear rational and calm at all times –even if your now ex-friend decides to throw a tantrum.
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Steel Yourself
Be prepared for an explosion, girls. Very few people will take being dumped as a friend well so you’re probably in for a bit of abuse. Your friend might get loud and will, more than likely, become insulting. I know it’s hard, ladies, but try not to react. Keep your perspective throughout the meeting; just think, after this moment, you’ll never have to deal with her bad behaviour again.
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Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration.
Resist the Temptation to Be Nasty
It’s important that you play the role of grown up in this situation. When you’re going through matters with your ‘friend’ try not to be aggressive, sarcastic or insulting, regardless of how mean she might become. Remain neutral: think ‘poise’ and try to distance yourself from personal remarks and outright attacks.
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Walk Away
The meeting is over once you’ve had your say and you’ve listened to everything your now ex-friend has told you. Don’t hang around too long after you’ve broken the news; allow some time for discussion and explanation, but then excuse yourself and get out of there.
Losing a friend is never a pleasant experience, girls, but sometimes letting someone go out of your life is the healthiest thing for both people involved. What are your thoughts on this difficult issue? Do you have any suggestions to add?
Top Photo Credit: UvaFragola
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