All Women's Talk

7 Ways to Ditch a Frenemy ...

By Jennifer

We all have one in our circle of friends — the frenemy. She can make your life so miserable with her catty remarks, hurtful gossip, and back-stabbing drama. Why do you keep her around? If you’re ready to ditch the bitch, but don’t quite know how, I can help. Tell her right up front you want her out of your life, then follow through with this list. Here are 7 ways to ditch a frenemy.

1 Stop Taking Her Calls and Texts

Once you’ve put it out there that this frenemy is out of your life, stop taking her calls and texts, no matter how incendiary they are. She’s going to be mad, and will strike out at you, but ignore her. Don’t reply, no matter how nasty and hurtful her messages are. Getting into a text tiff will only encourage her — she lives for his drama!

2 Delete Her from Facebook/Twitter

While you might be tempted to do a little trash-talking of your own on Facebook or Twitter, hoping this ex-frenemy will see it and know it’s about her, don’t. Just delete the meanie off your friends list and stop following her and delete her from Twitter. Block her, too, so she can’t see your life online. And move on. Don’t stoop to her level.

3 Stop Talking about Her

Once you’ve cut this trash-talking diva out of your life, stop talking about her to your other friends! I know it’s been traumatic, but remember, that was the point of her behavior towards you! Don’t reward her by continuing to talk about her once she’s gone. Move on! Talk about someone you LIKE instead!

4 Be Direct!

She has no problem telling you that you look like you’ve gained weight, or that you look horrible in that color, so be just as direct and blunt as she is when you’re ditching her. Tell her you’re tired of her insults and her pettiness, and that you just don’t want to be friends with her any more — and walk away. The end.

5 Cut out Mutual Friends/frenemies

Frenemies tend to travel in packs, so you might find it difficult to ditch one of them while still being friends with the others. Get rid of the entire herd of frenemies, then — why would you even want one of them around, anyway?

6 Write Her a Letter

Sometimes it’s hard to say everything you want to say in person, especially when you’re emotional. If this is the case, try writing a letter instead. Be honest, be forthcoming, but don’t be mean. Tell her you valued her friendship in the past, but that you feel your relationship has become toxic, and that you just don’t want to be friends anymore. That, combined with the other things, will get your point across.

7 If All else Fails…

If at some point your ex-frenemy is becoming more than just an annoyance, and is venturing into stalker territory, or if she ever makes threats or makes you feel unsafe, it’s not a bad idea to file the paperwork for a personal protection order (aka “restraining order”). It’s easy and inexpensive to file, and it can go a long way to making you feel a little safer.

The hardest part of ditching a frenemy is sticking to your guns and not letting her pull you back in. But once you’ve set her free, you’ll notice how much brighter your outlook is… and how nice everyone else in your circle of friends is! Which of these tips do you think would work best at ditching the frenemy in your life? Or do you have another idea to share?

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