Oh, the midlife crisis – I’ve hated every single moment of my dad going through it just as much as I’ve hated my mom’s menopause. You think you’re having a bad time? Well, ask your kids how they feel! But, let’s skip the kids for now and deal with your hubby-gone-wild only. Okay? So, you think he’s going through a much feared midlife crisis? Well, here’s how to check if that’s really the case:
He could be the most successful one you know and still demonstrate this obvious sign of midlife crisis. Why? Because no matter how many of good choices he has made, there will always be some roads he chose not to take. Those “unfulfilled dreams” come back to haunt them at some point, usually when it’s too late to make them happen. A man suddenly realizes he’s “too old” and get’s all depressed because “his life wasn’t supposed to turn out that way”. Boo Hoo!
If you suddenly have to wait in line to use the mirror, you can be 100% sure he’s going through a midlife crisis. Some men start dying their hair while others feel the need to make a serious change of style. This doesn’t mean he’s having an affair, at least not yet. He had an unexpected reality check and realized that he is getting old. Oh dear, oh my!
I don’t mean to scare you but a lot of men suffering from a midlife crisis start checking out other women. What they want is confirmation and attention, somebody to tell them that they still look great and somebody that could actually remind them how successful they are. Men suffering from this sudden lack of confidence often choose women that can’t even be compared to their respectful wives. When it comes to reassuring our men how good they are, nothing works better than a divorced gold-digger on a mission to find a new daddy for her kids. They are silly creatures indeed!
Once a man starts to believe that he has wasted the first half of his life, he will become prone to doing the most ridiculous things ever, threatening to screw up the remaining half too! He could quit his job, buy a new car or move out to “clear his head”! One of my neighbors has even booked a vacation for himself and his “girlfriend” and didn’t even bother to tell his wife “Hey, hun, I’m going to catch some sun and you’re not invited!” Do show him you want to work things out but don’t press too much. Once the kitty realizes the February rain is freezing when there’s nobody to offer a free shelter it will come back to purr on your doorstep. Tested!
You are the cornerstone of all his problems. He could have been a successful athlete, he could have accepted that job overseas and live like a king but NOOO, he decided to marry you instead. Well, you see, men are just too weak to take the blame so they must find somebody else to hold responsible. A woman, for example, would always start the question with “Where did I go wrong”. Don’t let it bother you, once he’s done with you, he’ll move to the kids, environment… until he finally realizes his choices were really HIS choices.
If all you can hear coming out of his mouth lately are snide comments about the people who have more money than you, you can rest assured that your man is starting to feel bad about the way his life turned out. He doesn’t notice the things he has anymore or they don’t mean much to him… Well, let me tell you this – even caviar starts tasting awful if you eat it every day. So send your man to his high school reunion alone, dress him up nicely and even buy him an expensive Armani tie to wear. Once he gets finished playing the hot-shot, he’ll give you a kiss and a hug. You know why? Because he have a chance to play his best imaginary self and, in the middle of his role play, he’ll realize that he doesn’t have to pretend and lie about anything. He already has great, real things to brag about!
Exercising, new hobbies, new friends, your hubby is like a teen trying to fit in and show everybody how cool he really is. Don’t worry, though, this won’t stick as he’s too much of a grown-up to accept permanent changes. He’ll go on and on about it for a couple of weeks or even months and then everything will blow over and he’ll go back to his usual self. He’ll, of course, have a very good reason for it!
So, is your man really going through an identity (read: midlife) crisis? Well, remember to stay cool, never blame yourself and, if you are ready to do whatever it takes to save your marriage, show him that, once he’s done with all the crazy stuff, he’ll always have a place next to you.
Top Photo Credit: swanksalot
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