1. Sex, Lies, and Videotapes

Photo Credit: buzzworthy.mtv.com

So many celebrities have sex tapes out now, and it seems like there's a new one every week. I have never in life watched one of these, and I don't intend to. I don't want to see Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, or Tommy Lee naked. Not for anything. However, now it's not just sex tapes. As in the case of Miley Cyrus, there are also drug tapes. It makes you wonder when they're going to learn that if someone is filming them, they might just want to sit there and read a book.

2. Running from the Law

Photo Credit:ctv.ca**This one is devoted to one celebrity:** Randy Quaid. I love Randy. Granted, I am a bigger fan of Dennis Quaid, but I think Randy's awesome too. Randy, why run from the authorities? They're going to catch you. One has to wonder if it's not just because he knows that at least web sites like TMZ and, oh, All Women Stalk, will finally be talking about him again.

3. Down under & off the Wall

Photo Credit: kuwaittimes.netI miss the old Mel Gibson. I really do. The escapades in his private life, which shouldn't be anyone else's business but which naturally alter your opinion of him when they come to light, have completely eclipsed his immense talent. I just cannot comprehend the fact that Braveheart gets all sloppy drunk and verbally abuses a woman who may or may not have provoked him into a rage for purposes of blackmail. Regardless, Mel, verbal abuse is still abuse!

4. Buzz Cuts

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Like everyone else, celebrities are not immune from bad haircuts. However, there is a difference between getting a bad haircut and giving yourself a bad buzz cut. No one will probably ever know what was going through Britney's Spears head when she shaved hers, but I'm just glad that she seems to be fighting her way out of her bad times and reemerging triumphant. I might not be the biggest fan of her music, but I'm all about girl power, and she's doing amazingly thus far.

5. A Prenuptial Disagreement

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When will celebrities learn that it's probably a good idea to get a prenuptial agreement, because maybe the current love of their live isn't marrying them strictly for love? I know that's cynical, but it happens. Paul McCartney got hit way hard, and Kelsey Grammer just got a pretty decent hit as well. I don't know who, if anyone, was cheating on whom in that relationship, but even still. Just sign here, please.

6. Kat Von D over Sandra B

Jesse James is dumb. Not just silly, dumb. I mean, everyone makes mistakes. I don't know what went on in his relationship with Sandra Bullock. I know that cheating is never the answer, but neither of them called to tell me what was going on, so I won't even go there. However, having a tweeting little lovefest with Kat von D, right out there in the open, so soon after the dissolution of his marriage is just skeezy.

7. Unfortunate Clothing Choices

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Some celebrities like to “forget” to wear underwear and then get out of cars in the most awkward, splay legged positions possible. Others like to wear meat. Either way, sometimes a bad clothing choice gets blown up into this big, crazy thing – which might not happen if they would wear underwear. And not wear meat.

I wish, some celebrity, somewhere, would decide to start writing blogs or tweets or something about everyday people. John Mayer kind of managed it for a while, but not really, plus he's not funny enough for me. Who would you like to see writing such a feature?

Top Photo Credit: fhm.com