For those of you who don't know, “FWB” stands for friend(s) with benefits. I'm totally not judging this because I know that it really does work for some people. Others only think it will work, or they're willing to try it because they really like a guy or girl who is only interested in an FWB situations. Things can go wrong if you aren't ready for something like this, or if you don't understand exactly what you're getting yourself into by being a friend with benefits. Here are 7 of the reasons being an FWB might not work.
A lot of times, one of the people in an FWB situation ends up wanting more from the other person. They may not necessarily want a full fledged commitment, but the situation can go from being casually intimate with the other person to wanting to hang out, go to movies, go out to eat, hit the club together, and so on – until it actually does seem to be turning into a relationship.
Jealousy can also play a part in a friends with benefits situation. One or both of you might get jealous when you see the other person with someone else, or when you know your FWB is seeing someone else. If you know you have a tendency to get jealous beforehand, then you might want to stay away from this kind of situation on principle.
Ideally, anyone who is interested in having friends with benefits is always safe – but things happen. Careful or not, you have to realize that you are taking risks with this kind of relationships. If might sound corny to hear someone tell you that you are, in essence, sleeping with everyone your partner is sleeping with, but it's true. Make sure you're safe, and always be sure your friend is taking precautions and being careful as well.
Once you're in an FWB situation, it can actually be difficult to find and form a relationship if you decide to start looking for one. The thing is, your sexual needs are getting fulfilled elsewhere, so it might be easy to find fault with someone else, or to feel like you can't find who or what you're looking for.
Even if the two of you are adamant about understanding each other and your relationship, you can potentially offend each other. It doesn't necessarily have to be a question of jealousy, but if your friend finds out you're blowing him or her off to spend time with another FWB, he or she could get offended – and vice versa. One or both of you could also feel that way in time because neither of you is willing to admit.
You can also start getting dependent on your FWB, which can lead to some of these other feelings. It may be something as simple as being able to spend time with your friend whenever you want to, which can create feelings of dependency. And in a relationship like this, that can never work out.
In time, you really might start to feel worse about yourself. Male or female, these kinds of feelings can occur. It may occur to you to wonder, “Why won't my FWB have a relationship with me? Is there something wrong with me?” There's not, of course, but that doesn't stop the feelings from overwhelming you.
Like I said, though, these situations do work for some people – for both parties, in fact. It's just really important that you know yourself before you try. How do you feel about an FWB situation?
Top Photo Credit: inneri
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