10 Things Not to Do During Sex: Essential Tips for Better Intimacy

10. No Makeup "There"

Okay, putting lipstick on your nipples, concealer on your behind, mascara on that landing strip, or bronzer on your decolletage is a definite no. I do not care how you stack it… it's just not practical or particularly sexy for most. For more tips on intimacy and self-confidence, you might find Psychology Today a helpful resource.

9. No Talking. Shshsh ...

Remaining silent as you are approaching orgasm and expressing it only through sign language. I do not know about you, but this definitely does not work. I mean, unless you just have to be quiet and you are in a public place (naughty you!). Communication is key to better intimacy.

8. No Weird Stuff on Your Skin

Get into bed as you are covered in massage oil, whipped cream, baby oil, honey, hot wax, maple syrup, cherry pie filling, chocolate sauce, cookie dough, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, body paint, ice cream, orange sherbet, glitter or truffle oil. Unless, of course, your partner asks you to… it can get messy fast!

7. No Swapping

Swap with the hairy exhibitionist swingers that live next door. (I just had to add this one in). Maintaining healthy boundaries is a big part of any relationship.

6. No Lipstick

Put on dark red lipstick before you perform fellatio and leave a record on his “member.” Okay, some guys dig this, but there are many who do not appreciate having red lipstick everywhere.

5. No Weird Names

Calling “it” a “member” or any other name other than its name. Unless, of course, you are talking dirty!

4. No Singing along

While you are in the reverse cowgirl position, giving him a foot massage and singing “I Touch Myself” and tongue wrestle with the three-piece band accompanying you on the foot of the bed may be a definite…NO. Sometimes, less is more.

3. No Laughing

You should never turn sex into a stand-up comedy. Sure, you may be funny and you may be good, but telling jokes while making love can be a pretty big turn-off. It’s a great seduction tool, but once you have landed the partner in bed, toss those jokes into the closet. For more on the science of attraction, see Healthline.

2. No Baby Talk

This one is for the guys… Using infantile pet names for body parts can be a turn-off. Calling it a “wee-wee”… come on, she does not care what you call your penis as you are masturbating or telling jokes with your homies.

1. No Overdoing

Don’t forget about your physiological differences! She is not a RealDoll made to withstand 250 pounds of pressure, nor is her vagina ready to receive pillow-pounding thrusts from the first moment of contact. The vagina has been made to receive maximum stimulation in the outer one to two inches and goes through a process known as tenting.

Do you have a list of things that someone may not find attractive while having sex? You know, other than the obvious…

Here are a few quick reminders for a better experience: