I’m going to skip my usual, mile long introductions today and just say that the point of this post today is to remind ourselves why it’s so great to be a female. The world would be a much more hairy and, I dare say, less populated place, if there was no women, right? So here’s some reasons why it’s feels so great to be us:
1. You Are Allowed to Cry
You can cry when you’re happy, you can cry when you’re sad and even cry when there is absolutely no reason to do so. And nobody will call you a sissy because of it! There is no social or traditional norm that says we can’t cry our hearts out but there’s not a single one that says we must cry either. So, I guess we have a freedom of choice, don’t we?
2. We Can’t Get Lost
Actually, we can, but even if that happens there’s a 99% chance we won’t spend a lot of time being lost. Why? Because we won’t drive around in circles asking ourselves how could that happen and trying to persuade people in the car that “we know the road” and that “this house only looks like the one we passed by 30 minutes ago”. We will stop and ASK for directions.
3. You Create Life
Yes, there is a lot of pain involved in it and you do feel sick enough to think, “Oh, God, maybe this was not such a good idea after all” but the moment it’s all over and you get to see your baby, everything makes sense. YOU did it! You couldn’t do it on your own (yes, men, we DO appreciate your contribution, don’t worry), but you can still rightfully take the credits for 98% of the job done. If the kid is doing good at school you can always say, “Well, of course, that’s my child!” and, if things aren’t going so great you can always send him to the PTA meeting with the words, “That’s your child, too!”
4. You Don’t Have to Look Bad
You woke up with a huge zit, or you didn’t even sleep at all? Nothing a little bit of makeup can’t fix! Right? There is a whole bunch of products designed to make us look presentable in times when our natural gorgeousness fails. Plus, everybody already know we use foundation so we don’t have to hide the bottle or stress that somebody may say “OMG! You’re wearing makeup!!!”
5. You Can Adjust Your Height
You don’t have to stand up on your toes to kiss a guy and kissing certainly won’t cause you neck pains! Why? Because you have heels! Plus, nobody will think you’re an idiot for trying to look taller. In fact, nobody will even think to ask if you are trying to be taller or you just love wearing heels.
6. You CAN Have Sex Anytime
Having one drink too much won’t affect your ability to perform so you’ll never have to experience that sympathetic pat on the back followed with the “It’s OK… Really.” More good news? If you want sex, all you have to do is ask and when you do ask, you won’t get a slap and a shocked, “No!”
7. Your Sex Toys Can Be Used Immediately
You don’t have to spend a half an hour inflating your sex toys before use. They actually look cute , vibrate and you can incorporate them in the foreplay without the fear you’re going to be considered a pervert. Furthermore, if your best friend accidentally opens your “goodie drawer” she won’t day spend days making jokes about it, but ask if you could help her do her intimate shopping instead.
8. You Can Say That Vin Diesel is Hot…
… and you don’t have to add “But these new supplements will make me even hotter” to cover it up.
9. We Can Change Hair Color
And we can do it even after teenage years without the fear of being ridiculed behind out backs. We rarely go bald and, when we start getting gray hair, we have a lot of choices – age gracefully, switch to blonde or start dyeing those grays.
10. You Can Take off Your T Shirt without Wrestling with It
Do I really have to elaborate on this one? We just cross out arms and pull the T shirt up, no need to break a sweat trying to wiggle our way out of it. Plus it takes like, what? Three seconds!
Now, I’m sure these aren’t the only reasons why we rock. In fact, I could keep listing them, until the year 2037. I’m just worried there won’t be anyone interested to read a list that long. It’s your turn now, ladies – let’s see why YOU love being YOU.
Top Photo Credit: Ло