Why is He Never Jealous?

Mabelle

Why is He Never Jealous?
Why is He Never Jealous?

'Black jealousy' is a term that we've all heard before. But what if it's just a mild case of jealousy?

This column from MsCyphrah Newsvine answers a question about the dilemma of a woman whose boyfriend never seems to get jealous. Even when she spends time with some of her male friends, her boyfriend does not seem to mind, making the girl feel as if he does not really love her.

Here's part of what Ms. Cyprah had to say:

…jealousy is not a positive quality in a relationship. It is a very negative one that lies at the heart of control and signals a lack of respect. He is actually treating you with respect, by appreciating your friends. He knows he loves you and that you love him, and does not feel he has to 'prove' anything, but you would like him to prove it by showing how jealous he is of you.

Ms. Cyprah
Way to go, Ms. Cyprah! I thinks that she hit the nail in the head with this advice. Jealousy is a negative emotion which shows** how insecure a person is about herself**. It's a good thing that the boyfriend of the girl who wrote the letter never gets jealous.

I guess her case is the other spectrum of women who have extremely jealous boyfriends that they do not want them to spend any time at all with other members of the male species.

My own piece of advice for that letter sender is: be thankful that you have such an understanding boyfriend. His lack of jealousy just shows how secure he is of himself and how much he trusts you - knowing that you will not betray him while you're spending time with your other male friends.

Shed that insecurity, girl, it's just a waste of your precious time!

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

As a male I am uncertain I agree with this advice. The reason I don't get jealous of my girlfriends is because I know I can always get another girlfriend. Is a matter of fact, I sometimes will promote my girlfriend to be friends with other men in hopes that something develops so I can move onto another relationship. Most of us would prefer to experience as many women as possible, and we don't want to hurt any of you, we just want to make certain we have experienced many relationships before we decide who we want as a permanent mate. Thus the reason many of us have problems settling down... we are always looking for something just a little better or different. Try to look your best, us males are very visually stimulated, but remember, the The most important thing to make us want to stay with you... be as feminine as possible. Its all in your attitude, be sexy and vulnerable and most of all FUN to be around!

I don't completely agree with this. I think when many people think of jealousy they think only in the extremes. Like constantly thinking your partner is going to cheat or leave you and being paranoid and freaking out when they even speak to another person (of the sex they are into) even if in the most platonic way possible. Or refusing to let them be around certain people even though they give you no reason to doubt them JUST BECAUSE you are worried something 'might' happen. Being controlling because of jealousy is a bad thing. But to say jealousy never happens if you're secure with yourself? I think anyone who says they have never been jealous are either lying or don't understand what jealousy really is. Jealousy IS a feeling plain and simple. It is either negative NOR positive. It's is your REACTION to that feeling of jealousy that is. Still don't get it? Ok lets say you're madly in love with your significant other. You trust them and don't doubt their loyalty to you. But you see a really good looking, charming and obviously funny guy or girl talking to them and really cracking them up. You DON'T doubt your partner but still a small part of you thinks 'What if? Hey maybe this person could be better for them?' But you really love them and you don't want to lose them. You feel uneasy. Now you could let this uneasy feeling go out of hand and become irrational to the point of trying to control your partner. Or you could use that feeling (which is jealousy!) to be the best possible partner you can be. Yes jealousy can be good because it can make us try harder. And after all the effect if they STILL leave you for someone else? Well at least you can say you tried your best. You didn't just watch them talking and laughing with someone else without even bothering to try to improve your relationship. And every relationship could use improving.

Thats proves that some men are not worth a reals woman love, but intead a dispensable girl that will play around with them

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