There are loads of things that make me feel old (like looking at my own driver’s license). I wonder how I got to be nearly 40… I don’t look old, I don’t act old, and most of the time, I really don’t feel old! But I recently stumbled upon a list of celebrity birthdays that got me thinking, and then got me feeling positively ancient. Want to join me in elderliness? Here’s a list of 10 things to make you feel old.
1 Teletubbies
Here’s a TV fact that will make you feel really, really old: the final episode of the Teletubbies aired ten years ago. That’s right: the last new episode of children’s show featuring the completely creepy multi-colored Tubbies aired on January 5, 2001… ten years ago.
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2 Jagged Little Pill
Perhaps the ultimate, best-ever angry girl-power rock album ever, Alanis Morissette’s “Jagged Little Pill” was released June 13, 1995 … which makes the album we all know and love (and have occasionally sung for karaoke) 16 years old. If this album were a person, it would now be old enough to drive.
3 Home Alone
The adorable (though slightly annoying) child star of the “Home Alone” movie franchise, Macaulay Caulkin, was born on August 26, 1980, which means he’ll be turning 31 years old. I’m actually surprised that he hasn’t starred in an update of the movie, in which he “accidentally” leaves his own children behind while on vacation, as sort of a rite of passage.
4 The Spice Girls
Believe it or not, the entire line-up from the Spice Girls will be turning 40 soon. If that doesn’t make you feel old, nothing will. On the other hand, watching “Spice World” is still a hoot, and Victoria Beckham is completely gorgeous.
5 Icons
This year, John F. Kennedy would have been 92. Sex symbol (and potential Kennedy mistress) Marilyn Monroe would have been 86. Elvis Presley would have been 76. Keith Richards? He died ages ago and no one has bothered to tell him.
6 The Rugrats
If the cartoon babies of Nickelodeon’s “Rugrats” series had aged along with the rest of us, they would all be in their 20s, old enough to drink — including baby Dil. I wonder what Angelica would be doing right now, at age 23.
7 Boy Meets World
The cast of Boy Meets World (popular but so annoying!) are now all in their 30s, except for Topanga (Danielle Fishel), who is a relatively young 29.
Still not feeling old and crusty? Consider that your favorite sit-coms haven’t aired in about a decade. The last episode of “Seinfeld” aired on May 14, 1998 (13 years ago) and the last episode of “Friends” aired on May 6, 2004 (7 years ago).
9 The Taco Bell Dog
Did you know that the first Taco Bell commercial featuring the Spanish-speaking and completely adorable Chihuahua, Gidget Chipperton, aired in 1997, which was 14 years ago. Poor little Gidget died two years ago. Old. We’re all old!
10 The Wonder Years
No, I’m not talking about your youthful past. I’m talking about the TV show, which first aired in 1988 (23 years ago) and last aired on 1993 (18 years ago). Fred Savage, who played Kevin Arnold, is now 35 years old. Cute, sweet little Winnie? In real life, she’s Danica McKellar, math whiz, and she’s now 36.
After reading this list, I’m shocked I still have a pulse, let alone that I’m still able to live on my own without assistance. Seriously! This list made me feel so old! I can’t believe how old the Rugrats would be, and how old cute little Fred Savage is! Yes. I’m old. But so are you! Which of these things made you feel really old?
