How many times have you gotten an IM from someone wanting to cyber on the basis that you have a pulse?
Do you remember how annoyed you got?
Imagine all kinds of couples, and men IMing you the minute they find you've logged on. Don't you suppose you' be fed up with them after awhile? Insulted by their image of who you are?
Would you be calm and interested if a couple or a guy proposed to join threesome to you without preamble and without even asking if you were interested?
This happens to bi women all the time,** it's as if we posted a sex ad** and forgot about it!
There's an awful lot of couples out there folks, and a whole lot of them are looking for a third to help them realize their sexual fantasies. In order to do that they look for ladies like me, the bisexual woman. Since I like both men and women, I must be totally up for this sort of thing right? After all bisexuals are much more sexual beings, more open and unwilling to be tied down to one sex much less a single partner right?
Well if that's what you're thinking, you'd be wrong.
The mistake you're making is to assume that as a bisexual I'd be open to this sort of thing. Yes, I am attracted to both sexes but that doesn't make me want to be more promiscuous, it just means that my sexual attraction is open to both men and women.
Yes I have a bigger playing field but that doesn't mean I go from one partner to the other, much less take part in multiple partnered sex! In fact most bisexuals are serial monogamists just like you when you're in a relationship (mine has been going strong for seven years).
The notion that bisexuals are more sexual or more willing to take part in risky sex is actually kind of insulting. Bisexuals have as varied a sexual makeup as any hetero or homosexual person out there, we do not all subscribe to the same methods of interaction.
I wont lie, there are bi women out there who are open for this (just like any other sexual identity group we have a small section of folks who are experimenting or free-spirited enough to be ok with this) but they only make up perhaps 10-20% of the whole group, not an overwhelming number as most assume.
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If you really do want to enter into sexual acts with this person:
• Above all else treat them with respect(This includes safe sex)! As much as you might appreciate their body and their willingness to be involved, I don't think you've really thought about how important it is to let them in on the negotiations.
• Everyone has their own rules when it comes to sex; having an open discussion on what rules have to stick for either party is the only way this can turn out fun and not leave anyone feeling left out or jealous.
• She shouldn't feel used or objectified and neither should either of you.
How should you go about inviting someone you think might be interested:
• A great way to evade insulting anyone is by posting a personal ad on an adult dating website, they often edit their settings so that couples can only view singles looking for threesomes or vise versa.
• Ask if they're interested (No this isn't where you use your best one liners or sexual innuendo. Ask something more like "I'm looking for a third, might you be interested?")
• Get to know then a little first. (Yes it might only be that one time but do you want to risk inviting an ax murderer over or getting robbed?)
Would you like to add more points?
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