All Women's Talk

Living Apart Together LAT Relationships

By Annie

Depending on the person you're talking to, it can be awkward explainingthat you and the man in your life aren't married, but happily livingtogether.

But how about explaining to someone that you and the man in your life are happily married -- and living apart?

An increasing number of people in marriages, or in other committed,long-term relationships, are choosing to keep their own places ratherthan move in together. And these Living Apart Together (LAT) couplesclaim that their relationships are better because of it.

It makes some sense when you think about it. If familiarity breeds contempt, then having separate places to retreatto means that you're more likely to appreciate each other when you do get together.

Plus, no one person can meet all your needs, so unless you're raising children together, why do you need to live together?

Other possible advantages of an LAT relationship include:

*He still picks you up for a date
*Permanent "his" and "hers" bathrooms
*You get to live around your own stuff
*Different standards of cleanliness aren't a major issue
*Nobody has to give up a pet if the other person is allergic to it
*You have more opportunities for privacy and quality alone time
*You don't have to deal with each other in a bad mood, or when someone's sick
*If you're a single parent with children from a previous relationship, you sidestep the complications of blending a stepfamily

Some would say, if you choose to be in a two-home, long-termrelationship -- married or not -- you and your partner also are less likelyto break up than other couples who face the 24/7 daily grind of lifetogether. This way of doing a relationship reportedly makes it easier tokeep the passion, the friendship, and your good will towards each otheralive.

But I wonder about the whole LAT phenomenon.

For people who aren't so good at things like compromise, negotiation, and/or commitment, having their own space to retreat to during the rough times in a relationship could mean that they continue to be not so good at compromise, negotiation, and/or commitment!

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What do you think of two-home, un-co-habitating, Living Apart Together (LAT) relationships?

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And.......what are the best things, in your opinion, about Living Together Together (LTT) relationships?

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