Have I Really Never Been Cheated on?

** By Candace Dees **

I've stayed up late too many nights pondering this question. I think back to my past boyfriends. I never caught any of them cheating. Does that mean I'm just that naive or do I just pick the right guys? Almost everyone I know has been cheated on; I couldn't be the lucky ONE that has never been with an unfaithful man, could I?

The reason this question has been consuming my thoughts for the past six months is because I think I almost caught my husband cheating. All the signs were there. He changed his passwords, he would get mad when I would try to answer his phone, he deleted his phone history frequently, and he was distant and angry with me for no reason. I confronted him, of course. He denied any wrong doing but his behavior was still suspicious. He obviously wasn't going to fess up. I acted like I believed him and I stopped questioning his two hour trips to the convenience store. All the while I was watching him closely.

One day he goofed up and forgot his phone at home. Someone called and I answered it. It was an old girlfriend of his that was looking to move back into the area. I also found a couple of e-mails from her. She called him cutie. It made me feel sick to my stomach. She lived a thousand miles away so there was no way they were having sex, but I was still hurting. Who is he going to see at the "convenience store"? He still denies everything to this day. He gets so mad if I even bring it up. Things are better now but I miss my husband. I find my self feeling so lonely sometimes and he's not available anymore for me to reach out to. He says he's not lonely. I just can't stand the thought of him laughing and carrying on with another woman when he won't even ask me how my day went anymore. I'm convinced that he is at least having an emotional affair. Why else would he be so content. But then again if he's having an emotional affair with someone else, am I doing the same thing?

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