Have I Really Never Been Cheated on?


Have I Really Never Been Cheated on?
Have I Really Never Been Cheated on?

** By Candace Dees **

I've stayed up late too many nights pondering this question. I think back to my past boyfriends. I never caught any of them cheating. Does that mean I'm just that naive or do I just pick the right guys? Almost everyone I know has been cheated on; I couldn't be the lucky ONE that has never been with an unfaithful man, could I?

The reason this question has been consuming my thoughts for the past six months is because I think I almost caught my husband cheating. All the signs were there. He changed his passwords, he would get mad when I would try to answer his phone, he deleted his phone history frequently, and he was distant and angry with me for no reason. I confronted him, of course. He denied any wrong doing but his behavior was still suspicious. He obviously wasn't going to fess up. I acted like I believed him and I stopped questioning his two hour trips to the convenience store. All the while I was watching him closely.

One day he goofed up and forgot his phone at home. Someone called and I answered it. It was an old girlfriend of his that was looking to move back into the area. I also found a couple of e-mails from her. She called him cutie. It made me feel sick to my stomach. She lived a thousand miles away so there was no way they were having sex, but I was still hurting. Who is he going to see at the "convenience store"? He still denies everything to this day. He gets so mad if I even bring it up. Things are better now but I miss my husband. I find my self feeling so lonely sometimes and he's not available anymore for me to reach out to. He says he's not lonely. I just can't stand the thought of him laughing and carrying on with another woman when he won't even ask me how my day went anymore. I'm convinced that he is at least having an emotional affair. Why else would he be so content. But then again if he's having an emotional affair with someone else, am I doing the same thing?

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..Being cheated on is probably the worst gut sickening feeling that any girl has to go through.. and I have been with a few guys that have dont that to me.. like you, all signs were there... but i kept thinking ' why would he, if he did he would want to leave me right?' well honey.. I was cheated on, and obviously not by a husband but a boyfriend that I was once with who heart me so bad and left the country to go back to his home, Australia. If your husband says hes being faithful to you, only you know deep down he is.. but if its hurting you and think hard about it... it may not be worth pondering about as it will only ruin you as a person if you dont either believe or leave. Me questioning him all the time led him to leave... only to find out all my suspicions were true... I thought him leaving was the end of my life... but guess what I have met the man of my dreams and i am extremely happy and know he will never do anything to hurt me.. its doesnt matter if your married, or been with them for years.. at the end of the day,you have to think about yourself.. and everything happens for a reason.. I hope this has helped . x

Candace, I have had the same thoughts in the past, although I never really dwelt on them. My husband has been faithful so far--at least that's what I'd like to believe because there wasn't a grain of evidence solid enough to convince me. Although through the years that we've been together, there were occasions when I felt like there were "distractions" that made him somewhat distant and cold(do you believe in a woman's intuition?). It would happen for weeks at a time and then he's back to being the affectionate husband he always is. Paranoia would cling for a little while but I tend to brush it off as soon as he's sweet talking me again. I feel that he truly loves me, though. Then again, he probably strayed along the way and that doesn't matter now. After all what I don't know won't hurt me.

Oh, dear Candace, I truly hope things get better between you and your husband... He'll come to his senses, I am sure!

I'mso sorry.My ex boyfriend (I know,not as important as a husband!) emotionally cheated on me a month ago. It hurts,in my opinion,just as bad as physical one. It hurts to know that I was once they girl he came to when nobody else would listen and hold himand care for him..and one day he just decided I wasn't worth it. He would rather laugh and joke around anf flirt with this new girl instead of have a real relationship. Long-term relationships and marriages come with stress...and some men seem to be unable to deal. If he really is cheating on you, I hope you find out...and I hope you know as much as you blame yourself (I know I do,too) it is not at all your fault. I'm sure you are a beautiful and loving wife..and he is just taking that for granted. I know it hurts..I still have regular dreams at night where we are togther and happy. Then I wake-up and realize he picked her. He chose not to love me..and I just have to accept it's out of my control..and let it be.

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