Beauty My Blessing and My Curse ...

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Beauty My Blessing and My Curse ...

**By Heather LaFeber **

**** Transforming from an ugly duckling in high school to a beautiful swan in college is not how they make it out to be in fairytales. Granted, the attention and free drinks were not without their charms at first. In fact, I craved the attention because it was new and exciting to me, completely different from the complete indifference I was treated with in high school. I could get whatever I wanted now, simply because of this** wonderful blessing of attractiveness**.

But as I ventured in to the professional world, my beauty became somewhat of a curse. I am an ambitious person with a drive to excel professionally, but I began to notice people questioning my credibility and professional potential. When I received a promotion at my work, one of my co-workers even said to me, "I'm sure the interview was in a room full of men, right?" As if a beautiful woman couldn't possibly be** independently intelligent and successful** by her own merit.

As I continue to struggle with the stereotype that beautiful women are stupid or flighty or unreliable and unprofessional, I also continue to use my beauty to my advantage. But with the good, comes the bad and it is something I must learn to overcome. I take these stereotypes and use them as my motivation to break the mold and prove to the world that beautiful women can be smart and successful too.

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actually your blog came up when I googled "beauty curse". I am a multi-racial, primarily african american woman. also an ugly duckling. Ive ALWAYS had problems with women...never really had a true girl friend because of my looks. first i didnt fit in because i was "the black girl" and was also chubby. well my chub became curves and my hair grew very long and am now considered attractive. I think its a curse. I have never had issues finding a man...I am married to a wonderful wonderful man but I still struggle with friends. I have no true friends even tho I joined a sorority in college for that purpose. theyre all uncomfortable or intimidated by me or jealous. I hate it!!!! im so depressed and lonely some days I want to die. even women in my family hate me. I also want to be liked and loved for more than my looks.

I totally agree with you! I too possess great beauty and sometimes I just don't know how to deal, oh my gosh!

I hear you girl, beauty is as bad as it is good. If that picture with this post is you, may I offer some advice. You are pretty, so why do you wear so much make-up (let your natural beauty shine!!!). That may be one of the reasons you are not taken seriously. studies have shown (I cannot find the one I am talking about, they talked about it on tv shows) that women who obviously spend "time" primping (applying make-up, straightening hair, etc..) are not as good of works so a women that rolls out of bed , throws her hair in a ponytail and heads to work does. The same theory goes for the kind of clothes you wear. Women that wear provocative clothes (low neck lines (you have boob crack showing), short skirts, etc..) are not looked at as if they have brain. At least until they prove themselves (which is harder for them). Or like in your case, you may not get the kudos for a promotion that you deserve because co-works think you "earned it alright,lol" (if you know what I mean). I know it may not apply to every women but it is something to think about next time you are applying for a job or getting ready for work! P.S. I am sure you were not as ugly in high school as you thought you were (considering how you look now). I think everyone thinks they were ugly in high school, lol.

My tale of ugly to beautiful is quite interesting. As a child I was really cute, everyone payed attention to me. As I grew up into middle school I became ugly and stick skinny. Even my own relatives said, I used to be so cute but what happen? I was constantly back stabbed and picked on. After puberty I was pretty again, those same people who were mean to me. All tried to be my friend or hollered at me. I actually got to see how it is on both sides. That made me a better and great person. I always had very attractive friends as well, so even though I was pretty. Some of the guys would pay attention to my prettier friend and kinda ignore me. Most guys are shallow like that. Then I lost all my baby fat and my body got more developed. Those same damn people who kinda ignored me now all kiss my ass! Even the damn girls! Acting like they were the down with the old me. Either way I can't win. I would say through it all I will never trade it in. Being beautiful that is. It is a blessing and a curse. It really depends how you act, because of it. If you have a good personality and genuine, real people will see it. They will respect you so much more. Even though you're beautiful, you don't take the easy way out. Especially because, you DON'T even need it! When you're too much of a good thing. You are going to be under scrutiny! Weather you like it or not! Don't let the haters win!

I am 48 was in a bad marriage for 20 years went through a divorce 2 years ago had a hysterctomy and i've never been more beautiful than now started jogging last year totally reshaped my body eating 90% raw food i've allways been pretty so I had all the girl jealousy and no freinds but now when I walk into a room or anywhere I go frankly I get staired at like I have two heads people comment on how beautiful i am all day!! not complaining at all!!!! however dare i may say that sometimes i wish i were invisible. and men act like they've never seen a woman before! I love love love it. I still have no friends even sister when we do lunch gets irritated at all the attention i get, another major problem I cant get hired anywhere women are the gate keepers usually and they really dont want me around even in the beauty industry that's the only thing that SUCKS about being beautiful do you other gals have this problem?

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