Do you have one of those relationship dealbreaker lists?You know, the list that describes the qualities you have to have in a man,along with the qualities you simply wonât tolerate?
If youâve taken the time to write such a list, I'm impressed!
Now put it away.
Then, being as honest as you can be with yourself, make twobrand new lists:
⢠The âGood Qualities I Bring to a Relationshipâ list
And...
⢠The âNot-So-Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationshipâ list
Why these two lists? Let me give you an example from my ownlife.
During a bad fight with a man years ago, I caught a glimpseof my reflection in a mirror. I was more upset at the person I saw in thatmirror than I was at the person across the room, hurling putdowns at me.
In the moment, I knew that being with this man wouldcontinue to bring out my worst qualities. In fact, with him, I was turning into someone Ireally didnât want to be. And knowing that -- even more than recognizing what amean son of a bitch he was -- made it impossible for me to stay in therelationship.
So began my growing awareness of who I was with different men, and how that was more telling in someways than who they were with me.
Hey. I know itâshard to stop analyzing the hell out of menâs behavior. Weâre conditioned to doit, right? And theyâre soâŚinteresting.
But who you are with a man -- and what being with him bringsout of you -- can be one of the greatest dealbreakers of all.
If you're already in a relationship, but not happy, or the next time you're getting involved with a man, think about those two lists that describe you.
Because a man whoâs right for you brings out many more of your good qualities than your not-so-good ones.
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After having SO MUCH fun being interviewed live on Wombat's fab Friday nights BlogTalkShow, I'm working on two new lists:
⢠The "Good Qualities I Bring to an Interview" list
And...
⢠The "Not-So-Good Qualities I Bring to an Interview" list
I have plans to beef up the first list.
Wombat has nicely captured the highlights of the interview in his latest KissnBlog post (here). Go. Read it -- you really should be enjoying his and Aspen's blog on a regular basis, anyway!
And please, folks, listen to the show (here). More to follow...