Everyone at some stage in their lives finds themselves single. Sometimes they’re happy with that, sometimes their partner has ended the relationship leaving them heartbroken. Unfortunately, people have to make comments about their single status, which is at best irritating if the singleton is happy, at worst insensitive if they’re heartbroken. Here are some things not to say to a single friend.
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You might get away with saying this a year down the line, but not if your friend is crying into your shoulder and wailing that they’ll never be happy again. Even if you didn’t like your friend’s boyfriend, best to keep your opinion to yourself. Saying that the guy was a creep makes it seem as if her taste in men is terrible.
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Don’t you get it? Your poor friend doesn’t want to meet anyone else. At the moment, all she can think about is how unhappy she is. It’s also not a good idea to rush into a rebound relationship. Everyone needs some time alone when a relationship ends.
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… in other words, better grab a man before there aren’t any left and your fertility gives up! This is the kind of statement beloved of mothers desperate for grandchildren, or who can’t understand why modern women are interested in careers.
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Keep it to yourself! Whatever you heard about the heartless excuse for a man who dumped your friend, don’t tell her. It may not be true, and it won’t make her feel any better knowing how horrible he is. In fact, it may make her feel even more inadequate if she finds out he was cheating.
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Says who? What’s wrong with being single? Relationships can be hard work, finding a compatible partner is difficult, and there are many positive aspects to being single. You can please yourself, not answer to anyone, and have a busy and fulfilling life.
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Oh, stop it! Who made you Cupid? This smacks of pity for your poor desperate single friend. Let her choose her own men. By all means introduce her to the ‘someone’, but don’t make it obvious you’re trying to set them up. He probably won’t like it either.
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Oh, yes, that old cliché. Single woman in her forties, living alone with her cats. Yes, that description fits me. Am I unhappy? Hell no! My cats are great company, I have plenty going on in my life, great friends, and I prefer being single to being in an unhappy relationship. A partner should be a bonus, not a necessity.
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Never, ever say this when you dump someone. It’s not going to help! Saying that you’re not good enough for them smacks of trying to assuage your conscience – they chose to be with you, not someone else.
So, the best advice when dealing with a single friend is to keep your nose out of their love life (or lack of!). What’s the most insensitive thing that anyone’s ever said to you when you’ve been dumped? If you’re single, do people comment on it?
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