You know, I hate iPods. I have one and yes, I do love mine, so yes, I know I’m being totally hypocritical here. Still, I hate iPods. But here, let me explain, so it makes a little bit of sense. I hope. Otherwise let’s just pass me off as eccentric, okay? Here are 7 things I hate about iPods.
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If you are listening to your iPod, you automatically seem antisocial. And no, I am not exempting myself from this. It’s not true, at least most of the time, but it’s kind of like keeping your cell phone pressed against your ear so you don’t have to talk to someone. Sometimes you -- and me! -- really do use them as an excuse to keep to ourselves.
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Earbuds get on my nerves. They can’t be too bulky, the sound has to be good, the sound can’t be so good the bass throbs in your ears, they have to be comfortable. My list is huge. Plus I want them to look good. Why is this a crisis? Jeez, I need new earbuds.
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I just got an iPod last year. I was so happy! Guess what? It was obsolete about five minutes after I got it. MP3 players in general and iPods in particular are getting more and more like computers. As soon as you buy a new one, the next big thing is already out. Well, I don’t care, because my iPod is pretty and it does exactly what I need it to do. This is the same reason I stick to my DVD player and refuse to buy a Blu-Ray.
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Still … I feel it. You feel it. Someone starts bragging about his or her new shiny state of the art latest greatest iPod, and you just want to hit the jerk -- and then steal the iPod. Really though, this only happens when I come across someone who basically smacks me in the face trying to show me that shiny new toy.
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People who listen to iPods are kind of creepy when they’re in groups. They’re like the Midwich Cuckoos, or the Children of the Corn. The creepiest thing is walking up, seeing a group of people bobbing their heads, then getting closer and realizing … they’re totally not making a sound. Maybe Stephen King’s next book should be about iPods.
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In real life, I keep my opinions about iPods to myself. I just pop in my own earbuds and keep my lip zipped. If I see you on the street jamming along, I promise, I’m not going to accost you. Other iPod haters are not like that. Some of them are very vocal about their opinions and do not like the fact that I can’t hear them because I’m listening to the Ying Yang Twins.
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It happens. Not to me, but I see it among all those braggarts. It’s highly comedic when you’re not a part of it. Those guys who are totally in competition for getting the newest iPod. They’re such tools, but it’s so funny! Person A gets livid when Person B gets the latest version -- and runs out to buy some new prototype.
I guess I’m glad I’ve got something else to keep me from talking to people in elevators though. That always makes me feel so awkward. Tell me though: are there any little modern wonders that drive you crazy?
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