The first sexual experience can be romantic, pleasantly weird or painful, it all depends on how, when and with whom you choose to share it. That’s why I’ve decided to dedicate this blog entry to our young readers who are going through this phase right now and are wondering is it or is it not a good idea to do it. So here it is- first sex, or seven things you need to focus on before and during it…
1. Make Sure You Are Ready for It
Whether or not you will sleep with somebody depends only on you, remember that! Don’t let the guy force you or talk you into doing that and definitely don’t do it to keep him. If the possibility of having sex with you is the only thing that’s keeping him around, do yourself a favor and break up with him. If this was, however, a mutual decision and you actually feel ready and a bit anxious to do it, I’d say go with it. The most important thing is that YOU want and feel ready to lose your virginity at that time and with that person.
2. Get Informed
Ask around or browse the Internet – it’s important that you know everything. Some things may shock you, some you’ve probably knew by now. All those… khm… bodily fluids were a bit of a shock for me, I definitely didn’t expect that and I had nobody to tell me those stuff and prepare me for what’s about to come. However, it’s all natural and there’s nothing to be shy about. Your little research could help you figure out what to expect, what to do and how to start. The rest is up to you, sweetie.
3. Test the Waters
Kiss each other, touch each other and don’t feel embarrassed to explore! First research, then applying the newfound knowledge in practice. You’ll figure out what he likes, he’ll figure out what you like. That’s called foreplay and that’s supposed to prepare you for the actual thing. Now, the actual thing doesn’t have to happen right away, you can just stick to the foreplay until you feel comfortable enough to move to the next step.
4. Take It Slow
It’s completely normal do be a little bit scared, don’t feel bad about it. Just take it slow and let the things flow in their natural course. It’s sex, not NIKE, you don’t have to “just do it”. You can, but the point is to enjoy it, right? You’ve chickened out? So what? Just explain your bf that you need a little bit more time and that you don’t feel ready to go all the way at the moment. That, of course, doesn’t mean you’ll be scared forever and, if you him explain that, I’m sure he will understand.
Don’t watch adult movies hoping to pick up some cool tricks. Just relax and leave the stunt work for some other time. You won’t make a fool of yourself… you can’t, believe me. Sex is not something you can suck at, especially not when it’s your first time. It’s not a sport, it’s a wonderful moment of intimacy. Focusing on what to say, what to do and how to act will make you nervous, you won’t be relaxed anymore and the whole experience might become painful.
6. Focus on the Feeling
So, what should you think about? NOTHING! Just focus on the feeling and that special moment you share with your loved one. That’s it. The chances are, he’ll be confused just as much as you, so do give the poor guy a hint or two. Tell him when to slow down or speed up, tell him if you start feeling any pain and when he does something you like, be sure to tell him that too. Guys are not mind readers, I’ll tell you that, so you’ll have to get used to the fact that you have to let him know what you like and dislike. The sooner he learns the better the sex will be.
7. Make Sure You’re Using Contraceptives
Last, but not the least – contraceptives! Knowing that you’re safe will make you feel much more relaxed and you won’t have any strange thoughts going through your mind and ruining the moment. Some people believe a girl can’t get pregnant during her first sex but I assure you, that is not true! You can get pregnant the moment you start getting your periods. So safe is the only right way to play.
I know all this sounds like the birds and bees talk but it would be wrong to give you any practical tips because not all people enjoy the same things. So the only right thing to do is find out what you and your boyfriend like. Hope everything will go smooth and let me know how you like these tips.
Top Photo Credit: rachel_titiriga