While nearly every teen believes that their parents are too controlling, there is a line that, when crossed, indicates unhealthy behavior. So until adulthood, when you are out on your own, you must find a way to deal effectively with that overbearing control without being rebellious. Here are 7 tips on dealing with controlling parents.
1 Realize Your Parent's Personality Type
Some people seem to naturally have a domineering spirit. It's not that they try to or want to, but it's just a part of their personality and make-up. Depending on your parents' background, it could be a product of the way that they were raised or experiences they went through during childhood that causes control issues.
2 Talk to Your Parents
Try to schedule a time to sit down and discuss things with your parents. Pick a time when you won't feel rushed or when someone is in a bad mood. Tell your parents in a kind way that you feel they are treating you unfairly and why you feel this way. Then listen to their side without having an attitude. Chances are, if you keep a light attitude and gently point out why you feel the way you do, they will respect that you are acting like an adult and work with you to make the situation better!
3 Have a Good Attitude
No matter what your parents do or say, if you can't seem to win or get any space to breathe, there's always one thing to do. Make sure you keep YOUR attitude in check. Don't let their sour attitude or bad mood ruin your day. Don't let bitterness creep into your heart over small issues. Remember that if they can choose to be rude, you can choose to be kind!
4 Try to See Things from Your Parents Point of View
Your parents care deeply about you, and alot of what seems to be "control issues" may just be that they are worried about your safety and well-being. With so much kidnapping and other horrible tragedies that take place these days, it's no wonder! Your parents also don't want to see you end up in trouble with the law or running with the wrong type of people. Understand that they only care for you and try not to be too offended that they love you and want to protect you.
5 Don't Fight Back
Don't fight it. When your parents question you and you fight against what they want to know it usually makes matters worse. Your parents may think you are hiding something which only makes them more controlling. Although you feel you are old enough to know better and look after yourself, it's a parents' roll to make sure you are looked after and safe. Just take a breath and remind yourself it is because they love and care about you. Simply answer what they want to know. This will reassure them you are OK and in return after awhile they slowly ease up on what feels like a tight grip on your life.
6 Realize There's Only so Much You Can do
You may need to continuously remind yourself that YOU allow their actions or words to effect you. And then do your best to control how you re-act. Truly controlling parents 9 times out of 10 only provoke you because they want a reaction. If you don't supply them with one, they will usually settle back and ignore you. You don't have to prove them wrong. When you've done all you can to change the situation, and nothing helps, just ignore them and go on.
7 Take Action
If it gets so severe you can't even live your life, you may need to consider moving out. If you are old enough of course! If you can't afford your own place, maybe a friend could room with you and split the cost. Or you may have another family member or close friend that could let you stay with them for awhile. Mom and Dad may let up after they see that you are serious about not putting up with it anymore.
Controlling parents are not easy to deal with, but it can be done. I would encourage you to do everything you can to keep the relationship intact because you only get one set of parents in life. If it's necessary to move out, do so, but in a kind way. And remember your parents DO love you. Did these tips give you any helpful advice?
Top Photo Credit: pbruch
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