Is it hard for you to trust people? Do you hate to delegate at work? Is your worst nightmare a surprise party thrown for you without your knowledge? Okay, maybe that last one’s a little extreme, but ladies, if your answer is "yes" to any of these questions, chances are you have an issue with control. But girls, don’t despair; you’re not alone. Apparently most modern women show some signs of controlling behaviour. Here are a few symptoms to look out for …
1. You Backseat Drive
Do you hate to be in the car while someone else is driving? Do you slam your foot on an imaginary brake pedal and lose track of conversation because you’re too busy watching the road? This, experts tell us, is a sign of classic controlling anxiety.
2. You Hate People Touching Your Things
Can you think of nothing worse than a friend digging through your purse? Would you rather crash the car trying to find your sunglasses than let the passenger have a look for them? Controlling personalities develop powerful exceptions to people touching their possessions, even if that person is simply trying to help them out.
3. You Diet like a Champion
People with control anxiety are often very picky about food. A meals needs to meet a list of stringent criteria before it can possibly be eaten. Any dish that fails to make the grade will simply not be touched.
4. You Obsessively Keep Tabs on Your Partner’s Whereabouts
Do you find yourself calling up your man just to ask where he’s at? I’m not talking about cute ‘I love you’ type messages or ‘I’m thinking of you’ lunchtime conversations. I mean do you actually just want to know where he is. Not for any reason; just because.
5. You’d Rather Be Planning Your Own Party than Attending Someone else’s
Does a little part of you think ‘I could’ve done this better’ every time you have dinner at someone else’s house, or attend a cocktail party that you didn’t throw yourself? Do you find yourself worrying that things will go wrong? Controlling personalities prefer to be in charge of events to the extent that they become anxious at those organised by other people.
6. You’re Super Critical of Yourself
Do you hold yourself to impossibly high standards and get angry and disappointed when you feel you’ve not lived up to them? People with control issues are often viciously self-critical, even at times when they’ve really succeeded. Girls, no one is perfect. Try not to be so hard on yourselves: indulge in a little kindness and celebrate your achievements!
7. People Tell You You’re a Control Freak
Now ladies, some comments are unfounded, but if this is one you hear a lot and from a lot of different sources, chances are it might be true. Take some time to think about your behaviour and the things that make you unhappy. If it seems control is an issue for you, concentrate some time and energy on trying to resolve it: relax, take a yoga class, and if things don’t improve, perhaps think about talking to a professional.
Many times, there are things you can do that will help you temper your need for control. However, the first step is admitting that you do have a controlling personality. I'd love to know your thoughts here, girls. How do you handle control issues in yourself and others? If you have any stories or tips to share, I would love to hear them!
Top Photo Credit: Stef Ming