7 Reasons Why Teen Mom is Horrible ...

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When it first started, Teen Mom did a pretty good job of detailing what it was like for teenage moms. You got to see the stresses and the heartaches, the accomplishments and the good moments. With the second season, the controversy is how much these girls are getting paid. Because little miss Maci rented an $800/month apartment with no plans to work for three months. Uh. What?

You know, Amber has personally waged war with a ton of individual bloggers. I wish I was one of the lucky few, because there are so many things I’d like to say to this girl. Like, maybe you should tone down the orange, sweetheart. And hey, maybe you should think about why your head stayed so large when you lost so much weight. And also, PLAY WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. Don’t worry, we’ll be revisiting individual traits about Orange Julius here.

For those not in the know, April is Catelynn’s mom. Catelynn dates Tyler. Tyler’s dad is Butch. Butch is married to April. You see where the pattern perpetuates? April is … on something, I fear. This woman speaks and acts more like a teenager than her teenage daughter. She is what Amber will be and look like in about 20 years.

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Yes! She gets mentioned three times! Because her sloth deserves its own category. This girl is always laying down. Always. She’s either sprawled out on the couch or beached in her bed. Coupled with her massive personality problem and her huge violence issues, you really have to wonder what’s going on in that disproportionate little body.

Throughout the course of this season, Debra allegedly hit her daughter Farrah (am I horrible for understanding how this might happen?), and she went to jail, had court obligations, had to go to counseling, and so on. On camera, Amber was seen several times beating the ever loving crackers out of her on/off fiance, Gary. With her child right there. Know what happened? Nothin’... MTV is awesome.

You know, I used to love Maci. Sometimes I still do. However, I do not love her forehead. Homegirl needs some bangs. I won’t even get started on her streaky spray tan or how it makes her arm pits look. Right now, I’m more concerned about her forehead.

Farrah Abraham makes the most horrendous face when she cries. I like to make a drinking game out of it. Every time her face starts to scrunch up to make it look like there are tears squirting out of her eyes, you take a shot just so the Halloween mask of an expression doesn’t scare the heck out of you when she looks up again.

Yet still, I giddily look forward to Season 3. There are prevailing rumors that none of the old girls will be on it, but I pray for Amber at least. She’s like the teenage Danielle Staub. Am I alone here? Does anyone else love to hate on this show?

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