They may say marriages are made in heaven, but break-ups definitely happen on earth. One moment there’s love in the air and you can hear ever-so-distant birds singing. The next you’re tearing at each other emotionally and draining the lifeblood of your relationship. So what gets you to this stage of a bad breakup? Take a look at some trigger points:

1. Forgotten to be faithful
Infidelity is an ugly word and when it becomes a reality, things can get nasty. Being faithful in spite of the attractive new employee in Accounting, may be difficult but it is crucial to the strength of your relationship.

2. No Chemistry, Biology… nothing!
The first year, you can’t keep your hands off each other. But now things are cooling down. Your hands are now firmly in your pockets. That warm feeling in your heart doesn’t seem to make it flutter at all. Chemistry seems to have taken a backseat.

3. Why can’t you be like me!
Some couples specialise in Change Management. They try to mould each other into their own mental images of what the other should be! That’s treading dangerous ground.

4. Jealousy in all it’s ugliness
Worried that your partner is doing better than you are? You find it difficult to smile when they do well at work? These could be signals that your heart is not set right.

5. Insecurity
When you don’t feel good enough to be loved and pampered the way you are, then you can be sure that insecurity is at work in your life. Unless you have self worth and think yourself worthy of attention, you can’t expect to be loved.

6. Misdirected prioritisation
Where does your relationship stand on your priority list? If it’s after ‘friends’, ‘parents-in-law’ and ‘neighbours’ then maybe you need to take another look at that list!

7. Communication breakdown
Remember the days when you used to sit on the porch swing and just talk? Bring those ‘good ole’ days’ back. Communication is vital in building a lasting relationship.

8. An unhealed wound
If you’re not over your past and still at some level trying/hoping to get back with your ex , then don’t expect this new relationship to work. It’s already headed downhill at super speed. Sort your heart out first!

9. Overflowing expectation
Avoid entering a relationship with a dozen expectations. If you do then you’ll end up trying to match life to your mental blueprint.

10. Letting yourself go
If you know longer look anything like when you first met your partner, then you’re in troubled waters. To keep the romance alive, take care of your health and your appearance. It will keep the fire in your partner’s heart burning only for you!

Picture by michal bar