By Christine Butch
Let’s get serious. Just because you’re marrying The One, does that mean his family really becomes yours?
Yes, it does.
But, what if HE doesn’t even want to be a part of his family? To make matters worse, what if the In-Laws just aren’t getting the hint?
If Girl really loves The One – and The One loves her – then it’s only natural to want to get married. But here’s the nice way of stating the problem: Mother-In-Law is slightly whacked and Grandma runs the show. Little Brother is caught in the trap while The One picks up and leaves everything behind in the middle of the night only to have his Mother continuously calling and wanting to know where it is she went wrong (as if she doesn’t know!)
So how does Girl deal with this? How does Girl help The One realize that he doesn’t owe them anything and he doesn’t need to talk to them anymore – or even invite them to the wedding?
Stand your ground. If you don’t want them at the wedding – and you’re positive that The One doesn’t either – then don’t let them come! Tell him that under no circumstances are they coming. Of course, make sure that he is positive he doesn’t want them there.
Reassure him that you love him, that you’ll always be there for him and that his family is a bunch of whackos.
Run down the list of things they did that seriously harmed him – whether emotionally, physically or mentally. Every family has their ups and downs, but if his family could seriously harm him in any of the above-mentioned ways, then they are not good for either of you.
Examine The One. Is he still clinging to his family, even after what they did? Does he and/or his actions say that he is unsure of his decision to turn his back on them? Do you have that gut feeling that after marriage he will go back to them? Do you worry about the way your kids will grow up, if you decide to have some? Then drop him. Drop him so fast he spins like a top.
Sit down and talk to him. Ask him how he feels about them and what they did to him. Ask him why it’s so difficult for him to break away and why he feels he needs to pick up every time they call, even though they have no way of finding him because they don’t know where he lives.
Examine all options. How will you or The One tell The In-Laws they are not invited to the wedding?
Never forget the love and affection you have for each other. Once all is said and done, you will be married to each other forever and that’s all that matters.
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