The Most Common Misconception About Signs of a Desperate Woman

The Most Common Misconception About Signs of a Desperate Woman
By Mabelle • Sep 9, 2008 MD

First, there's Desperate Housewives. Then, there's Jennifer Aniston calling it quits with John Mayer – making her 'undateable'. Is there really such a thing as a desperate woman? Do we sometimes tend to go to the extremes because we can't keep our guys committed?

According to AskMen.com, here's the definition of a desperate woman:

The desperate woman is characteristically unable to keep a man committed, and she turns men off with her frantic desire for a serious commitment.

Here's their list of the top signs that the online mag has come up with—frequently highlighted as perceived signs of desperate woman behavior—that guys were warned to steer clear of:

| Trait | Old Stereotype | Modern Perspective | | --- | --- | --- | | Pet Companion | Substitute for partner | Caring and responsible | | Strong Planning | Micromanaging | Organized and clear | | Seeking Commitment | Desperation | Valuing clear relationship goals |

1. She's **always **in a Relationship

The assumption here is that serial dating means someone cannot stand being alone. But transition speed between relationships doesn't automatically equal desperation.

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2. She's a micromanager

Taking charge of plans or having clear expectations is often mislabeled. For more perspective on setting standards, see how pushover behavior compares to healthy control in a partnership.

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3. She Has **pets **– Which She Uses as a Substitute for People?!?

Loving animal companions is a sign of empathy and responsibility, not emotional void. You can read research on emotional wellness at Psychology Today.

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4. She's a pushover

Being overly accommodating can hurt relationship dynamics. Unlike always being in a relationship or having micromanager tendencies, lacking boundaries is a genuine area to address.

I think the article is stupid. Of course, it's written from a man's perspective. But how are having pets and being a 'micromanager' supposed to be signs she is desperate? I know a lot of successful, single women who have three of these characteristics (except for being a pushover) – but they're not exactly desperate.

  • Healthy Boundaries: Knowing what you want is a sign of confidence, not weakness.
  • Emotional Maturity: Caring for pets or planning ahead shows lifestyle stability.
  • Mutual Respect: Real commitment requires effort from both partners.

Maybe it’s just you guys who are having problems staying in a committed relationship that's why you think that there's something wrong if women are the ones looking for commitment?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Khanyo

    2008-09-09T13:41:30.000Z

    Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus! Here's another one............MEN can't live with them-can't live without them!!! I think it's the beauty of the differences between men and women...............it's human nature.
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