Do you ever feel as if you could be screaming, but you might as well be screaming into a pillow because nobody is hearing you? Gosh! I feel it all the time! It's as if no matter how loud I get, I'm never heard. But not anymore! I'm going to be a woman who is heard and understood after finding these tips! You can too! Read on!
1. Choose to Speak when Engaged in an Activity
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Research shows that men are more relaxed and receptive to conversation when engaged in an activity. So, save your important conversations for when you're doing something together. Go for a walk or ride bikes together. Or talk while holding hands and walking around at the local fair. You get the picture, right?
2. Start Softly
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Don't rev your engines with an accusation and complaint! No! Start slowly and softly - idle for a moment. If you're upset that you haven't had a date in a while, rather than jumping in with "you never take me out anymore" gently bring up your last date, and talk about how much fun you had. Then, suggest the possibility of going out again soon. Don't pressure. Just ease into another subject. You'll see - it works!
3. Communicate in Different Ways
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You don't always have to speak to get heard. Try alternate forms of communication occasionally. Write him a note, or simply use touch. Or, model the behavior in which you desire your husband to have. (Like exercise or eating healthy)
4. Use Emotion
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By emotion, I don't mean that you have to cry every time you talk to him about something - that will just get you labeled a big crybaby, and he won't want to listen to you! What I do mean by emotion is speaking in a manner that shows emotion - that shows you are passionate about what you're talking about. Let him feel what you feel in your words. Be intense, but not too much. Your words should convey that you mean what you say and that you want results.
5. Slow down
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Take time to breath. Take time to think about what you're saying. Don't tear into a rant running full throttle! Your words will go right through their head and out the other ear. If you're upset, cool down first - then talk. Speak slowly and steady. Explain your hurt or your problems.
6. Don't Expect Understanding
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Men are men - they can't understand us women - it's beyond their abilities. If you go into a conversation expecting full understanding on their part, you're expecting too much and will most likely end the conversation more upset than you started. Instead, realize that they can't totally understand you and your complex self, and just do the best you can. You're more likely to get a better result at the end - you won't feel totally helpless if you can't get them to see your point.
7. Have a Positive Attitude
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As many of my posts do, for some reason I go back to attitude. The end result of a conversation (especially with a man) will be determined by your attitude during the conversation. Go in with a defeated attitude - you will leave in even more defeat. However, if you approach the conversation with a positive attitude and the desire to make it good, your results will most likely be better. Still yet, one must remember, we are talking about having a conversation with men, so anything is possible.
You can be heard! You just have to know what the best way to voice your opinions and concerns. What do you do to make sure everyone knows your thoughts?
Top Photo Credit: metanotherfrog